Tuesday, February 28, 2006


I'm meeting with my shrink next week. Should I...

a) press for a change in anti-depressant medication, so that I am able to continue in my nowhere job for X more years?

b) advocate discontinuing anti-depressants, in the hope that I am knocked off my 'complacency can' and prompted to give my life the hard re-evaluation it so desperately needs?

c) ask for a renewal of weekly visits?

d) b and c

Feel free to weigh in.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

"Goons! Hired goons!"

You like to play rough, don't you, Todd? And to be sure, it takes a whole package of circumstances for a hockey team to perform so poorly. We really can't single you out for the penalty you took yesterday.

I could write that it was goons like you that made my life in high school so difficult... difficult only until you realized that I was so popular with the girls you wanted to bang, it would work in your favour to come to my parties or acknowledge my right to exist as a human being.

Instead, I'd like you to walk over to that bench in this deserted, steamy dressing room. Take off your uniform--except for the jockstrap. You know how much I like those. Get on all fours on top of the bench. It's payback time, bitch.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

my favourite place

I'm allowed to start using my arm again, so one of the things I did was to organize some more photos. These are from my trip last year to our family's cabin on Boulder Lake in northwestern Ontario. It's in the area of Ontario bordered by Manitoba and Minnesota.

The fishing was bad, but I didn't care. It's fun to just be out on the lake in the fresh air. I threw this smallmouth bass back.

We went back out on the lake that evening. If this blog had smell-o-
vision, you'd be treated to the aroma of cedar trees.

Back to work tomorrow! Sigh... Thanks to N for the photos.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

one-armed bandit

Here's me. I "fell down and went boom" on Thursday. We had freezing rain in Toronto, and despite my experience as a curler, I still managed to have a wicked wipe-out that dislocated my right shoulder. I was lucky that nothing was broken, and that I didn't have to wait in the ER at all. I was also lucky to get some awesome drugs. "I want full sensory deprivation and backup drugs, sweetie!" (Edina Monsoon, Absolutely Fabulous)

Ironically, just as I was on an iv and oxygen at St. Michael's Hospital, my friend Peter was leaving a voice message for me at work warning of the icy conditions outside.

So, I'll be in a sling (and not the fun kind) for a while. My work--and worse, my blogging--will be impeded. Sigh.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

VD: not a total wash

Thanks to TBL, I received one actual paper Valentine!

I don't even mind that it broke the "no glitter cards" rule in my apartment. FGCP (Full Glitter Containment Protocol) was practised. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to vacuum off my scanner's platen glass.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


I woke up before dawn today... crying. I had been dreaming about a wedding. My wedding. In the first dream, I married a close female friend. I'm not sure why we were getting married, but I do remember the feeling of dread/guilt as I watched how happy my mother was, while I remained aware of the sham nature of the marriage. The second dream was of my marriage to a man I was ridiculously in love with. My parents weren't there, but my man and I danced to "You're the Best Thing" by Style Council and "Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House.

Friday, February 10, 2006

how I feel about my life today

"Lovin' Every Minute of It" by Loverboy

I especially like this line:

Turn that dial all the way
Shoot me like a rocket into space

Can I be on the Challenger, Mike? How about Soyuz 1?

Thursday, February 09, 2006

just a song that I've had in my head

I'm not saying the song has anything to do with current events, or with prophets. Warren Zevon wrote it and released it on his self-titled 1976 album; Linda Ronstadt covered it two years later. It is Ronstadt's version that has been going through my head lately.

Everybody's restless and they've got no place to go
Someone's always trying to tell them
Something they already know
So their anger and resentment flow

But don't it make you want to rock and roll
All night long, Mohammed's Radio
I heard somebody singing sweet and soulful
On the radio, Mohammed's Radio

You know, the Sheriff's got his problems too
He will surely take them out on you
In walked the village idiot and his face was all aglow
He's been up all night listening to Mohammed's Radio

Don't it make you want to rock and roll
All night long, Mohammed's Radio
I heard somebody singing sweet and soulful
On the radio, Mohammed's Radio

Everybody's desperate trying to make ends meet
Work all day, still can't pay the price of gasoline and meat
Alas, their lives are incomplete

Don't it make you want to rock and roll
All night long, Mohammed's Radio
I heard somebody singing sweet and soulful
On the radio, Mohammed's Radio

You've been up all night listening for his drum
Hoping that the righteous might just might just might just come
I heard the General whisper to his aide-de-camp
"Be watchful for Mohammed's lamp"

Don't it make you want to rock and roll
All night long, Mohammed's Radio

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

nice 'tude, TTC

The Toronto Transit Commission says that in the 45-minute peak of morning rush hour, the Yonge subway line is currently at full capacity. No additional trains can be added. In The Globe and Mail yesterday, TTC chief general manager Rick Ducharme said, "People say it's crowded, and I always say, if you go in those 45 minutes, that's your problem, because I can't help you." On the increase in commuting times in general over the last couple of decades, Ducharme said "live with it. We're a bigger city."

So the people who have to get to their downtown jobs by 8:30 or 9:00 should plan on extra idle time downtown? Perhaps lounge at Starbucks or hit a gym, while paying for an additional hour or two of child care in the morning? Hey, maybe the Bay Street business community will warm up to 'flex time' and let people stagger themselves in a spectrum of start-end times. You know, because we've already seen such willingness to bend antiquated men's dress codes in the steamiest summer days when rolling blackouts threaten.

"I can't help you... Live with it." If this is the attitude of senior TTC staff, it's no wonder that a) people continue to abandon public transit in favour of their cars; b) TTC employees in other positions* often exhibit outright contempt for the ridership.

*such as the fare agent at College station last week who rolled his eyes when the well-dressed, polite man in front of me requested a receipt, and proceeded to openly curse and swear at the passenger when it became my turn at the wicket

Monday, February 06, 2006

out with the ex

I'm so grateful for the relationship I've been able to create with my ex-boyfriend. It was rough going for a few years after our breakup in 2001, but we're finally in a place that allows us to revisit those bases of friendship that first brought us together. We had dinner with his friends tonight (who I miss) and then went out for beers. Perhaps it's the comfort of being with a man who I love and respect, or the confidence he inspires in me, but I was getting a fair bit of attention tonight.

The ex as wing-man: interesting concept. But I don't think I could do it for him. Not yet, anyway.

Thursday, February 02, 2006


I'm only planning on doing this once. Yep, rouge certainly doesn't tan! The picture, although not current, is still representative. It's from my trip to Provincetown in 2002.

I aspire to the full-on Joey "naked Thursday" concept. As you can see, I've modeled my tits after his.

Joey: Yeah, why don't you move in with me? It'll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies... and you know about Naked Thursdays, right?
Rachel: Yeah... yeah I think I'm gonna find my own place.
Chandler: Hey, hey! I thought Naked Thursday was just our thing, man!