the m4m trifecta and me
This post is an expansion on why I cried last Friday. It also explains why I dread Valentine's Day.
The m4m* players:
"C" - looks very much like me, except shorter. Works near me; we sometimes bump into each other. Nothing ever happened.
"L" - I actually met (& slept) with him some years back. I was crushing; him--not so much. We lost touch after he moved away.
"K" - probably one of my top 5 "Internet meets" (not meat)... could not be more my type
Valentine's Day 2005: I'm getting coffee across the street. C is also getting coffee, and surprise! He's with L. I ask L when he got back to Toronto, and find out that he "moved back for this guy." (He points to C.)
Summer 2005: While on a Church Street patio, I see someone who looks very much like K. Since I've only met K online, I find an appropriate moment and introduce myself. "Hey, I thought you looked familiar, too" he says. We chat. I find that looking directly at him is like staring into a bi-xenon headlight. He reveals that he's not single.
Winter 2006: back in the infamous coffee place across the street, I run into C again. This time, he's with K. WTF?
April 7 2006 (morning): C gets on my bus and sits by me. We chat. He stayed over at L's lastnight. I try not to picture the sex. I casually bring up K, and learn that C and K have known each other for many years. C hired K (this is a company that did not respond to my application a few years back), which is why I saw them together a few weeks ago. I mention how I know K (it's cool... C and I have sent each other naked pictures... why not?). I find out that K is still "not single."
Ready for the knife-to-the-heart? I wasn't.
Says C: "K's boyfriend is tall like you--maybe a bit taller--and has almost the same hair colour as you. Isn't that funny?"
No, it's not.
I get nothing. Perfecta? Trifecta? NOFECTA.
* m4m is a gay hook-up website
The m4m* players:
"C" - looks very much like me, except shorter. Works near me; we sometimes bump into each other. Nothing ever happened.
"L" - I actually met (& slept) with him some years back. I was crushing; him--not so much. We lost touch after he moved away.
"K" - probably one of my top 5 "Internet meets" (not meat)... could not be more my type
Valentine's Day 2005: I'm getting coffee across the street. C is also getting coffee, and surprise! He's with L. I ask L when he got back to Toronto, and find out that he "moved back for this guy." (He points to C.)
Summer 2005: While on a Church Street patio, I see someone who looks very much like K. Since I've only met K online, I find an appropriate moment and introduce myself. "Hey, I thought you looked familiar, too" he says. We chat. I find that looking directly at him is like staring into a bi-xenon headlight. He reveals that he's not single.
Winter 2006: back in the infamous coffee place across the street, I run into C again. This time, he's with K. WTF?
April 7 2006 (morning): C gets on my bus and sits by me. We chat. He stayed over at L's lastnight. I try not to picture the sex. I casually bring up K, and learn that C and K have known each other for many years. C hired K (this is a company that did not respond to my application a few years back), which is why I saw them together a few weeks ago. I mention how I know K (it's cool... C and I have sent each other naked pictures... why not?). I find out that K is still "not single."
Ready for the knife-to-the-heart? I wasn't.
Says C: "K's boyfriend is tall like you--maybe a bit taller--and has almost the same hair colour as you. Isn't that funny?"
No, it's not.
I get nothing. Perfecta? Trifecta? NOFECTA.
* m4m is a gay hook-up website
Comments
(I laugh only because I've been in a similar emotional space...)
Also, I'd like to extend a giant hug with really warm feelings.
(grin)