Wednesday, August 30, 2006

maybe I'm taking it the wrong way

subtitled: artistic license

The other day, I was listening to 102.1 FM here in Toronto and they played "Comin' Home" by City and Colour. I had already heard "Save Your Scissors" and although I don't know who Alexis is or why she's on fire, I thought it was a nice enough song. But I was put off by this lyric in "Comin' Home"
I've been to Lincoln, Nebraska
and hell you know it ain't worth shit
I've never been to Lincoln, but I think it's pointless and somewhat immature for the song's protagonist to put a place down like that. Then again, the performer hails from a band whose Internet domain name is "the only band ever." I shouldn't expect too much.

The only other character I know of that might dislike Lincoln is Aurora Greenway. Her daughter died there, in a hospital room, in Terms of Endearment.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

sorry, William

There are a lot of things I'm sorry about, William. I mean, besides the obvious. I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat. I'm sure you would have done more with your life than I've done in my 36 years on the planet.

Mostly, I'm sorry for keeping a distance. There are lots of complicated reasons behind that, filed under the heading of "family laundry." Maybe I made a big mistake. Was it enough to remember your birthday, and give you Christmas presents? I only live an hour away. I've been hanging on to a second-hand Spiderman action figure to give to you. But I didn't know if you were too old for it.

As a result of keeping that distance, the balance of what I know about you was learned after your departure. I feel really guilty about not making a better effort to know such a great kid. I'm sorry.


__________________________


To the cloggers: thanks for the kind words and messages. I know I wasn't exactly Mr. Sunshine before all of this happened, so I want to state for the record that I am O.K. Fortuitously, my shrink called to check up on me this week, so I'll be meeting with him shortly.

I'll be back around in a few days.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

rouge is just not that into you

Sorry, man. The heart wants what it wants. Dicks don't lie. Ain't enough Viagra in your medicine cabinet when:

  • you're trying to shove my fingers all up in there, and I can see a Crisco smudge on your shaved head
  • during the deed, "Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car" is playing on the satellite radio in your bedroom
  • you invite me over for a second date--even promising to make me pasta with your Italian mother's homemade sauce--then drop me cold until two months later, when you cc me on a hot hookup email to some other dude
  • I find out that you deal. And steal.
  • I find out you're a part-time actor. And you like getting gobbed on.
  • you don't bother closing the bathroom door, and it's noisy
  • you trick me into eating tripe at a dim-sum place
  • you proudly don't wear deodorant
  • you have to stop at a 24h cheque-cashing joint, because you're trying to "hide" your new part-time job from your landlord
  • you point out your two missing molars--where the bridle goes
This list of adventures is a partial summary of my last five single years. Hang in there, Midniter. He'll be back soon.

Monday, August 14, 2006

go ahead, be done with it

A recent exchange between Jason and Rouge:


rouge: have you seen the new Justin Timberlake video?

Jason: guess if I'm "SexyBack" or not?

rouge: I'm "Baby's Got Back"

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Rouge? Non... bleu.

A freshly-showered friend in your car smells like your ex. The Tuesday night movie is the same one you went to see, by yourself, at the theatre six years ago on a night you knew your boyfriend was cheating on you. You are so miserable at your job that it permeates all aspects of your life. You know that if you don't do something about it, not only will you still be there in 10 years, you'll also be 46, single, and bitter beyond belief (even more so than now).

You keep a car that's putting you in debt just so that you have a way to escape a city you don't like living in. It's a city that has kicked your ass, but it has the largest population of gay men in your homo-marriage-legal country. Critical mass. 'Cause where else is a gay guy gonna meet another gay guy? The country? Maybe in a pr0n video.

On the weekends you actually do stay in the city, you don't go out. You've even given up on the Internet. Five years of serious trolling, and all you have to show for it are stories that your friends bring up at parties to embarrass you.

Sometimes you think that you're a chameleon, because your sense of self is just bled in from what's around you. How can you know what you want to do with your life when you don't know who you are? You watch House and Grey's Anatomy and you wish you were a doctor. You watch the schmaltzy music video for Grey's Anatomy on the website, and you wish you were the singer. As tears stream down your face, 'cause you're such a maudlin wuss.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Rouge on Pink

This post will probably make me seem like a fourteen year-old girl, but... when has emasculation stopped me before on this goddamned blog?

I've decided that I like Pink. When she first surfaced, I had the same reaction as when I saw my first Britney Spears poster in a crappy mall music store: you have got to be kidding.

I think it was Pink's vocals for "Just Like a Pill" and her inflection when she sang
I said 'I tried to call the nurse again, but she's being a little bitch'
I think I'll get out of here...
that converted me. She had me at "bitch."

Although I don't have any of her albums, I have enjoyed the Pink songs I've been exposed to. "Stupid Girls" has a great message and video. And I have been humming "Who Knew" for a couple of weeks now.
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
'cause they're all wrong
I know better
'cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew
This is one of my gayest posts ever.