I'm afraid of becoming "Ba"

"I'm one bad date away from being bitter." - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

Oh, I've already passed that milestone, I can assure you.

What I'm scared of is sliding into the territory covered by Dame Judi Dench's character Barbara ("Ba") in Notes on a Scandal, which I saw over the weekend. (Fantastic, by the way.) Barbara is bitter, fed-up, and frustrated. She sees an opportunity to take advantage of a naïve new coworker, and uses it to her full advantage.

I'm a good person. I don't enjoy hurting others, and strive to do quite the opposite. But on the eve of my 37th birthday--and after six and a half years of being single--I worry about the effects of prolonged disappointment and solitude.

In the movie, Barbara reads from her journal: "People like Sheba [Cate Blanchett's character] have no idea what it's like to construct an entire weekend around a trip to the laundrette."

Are people like Barbara forged as cruel users in childhood? Were they pulling the wings off flies and playing baseball with frogs? Or, can they be changed that way in adulthood?

Comments

St. Dickeybird said…
I think bitterness is sexy! Add that to an unhealthy dose of old age, and I'll be there for you Handsome!
Timmy said…
Happy Birthday!!

Leslie and I we talking about taking in that movie, I am sold on it now!
Jason said…
Just think, if your cat gets sick, you'll be just like "Ba."
madamerouge said…
The goddamned vet had better euthanize the both of us; that's all I gotta say.
Miss Thistle said…
I don't know that movie! I must rent it.

Happy Birthday, sweets! Mwah!
Anonymous said…
I have "noticed" that I too am becoming bitter........so I have to change that asap..........I'm not a fun person when I'm bitter.

mitzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

happy birthday gorgeous! if i were a gay man, i'd be IN LOVE WITH YOU!
Timmy said…
Mitzz - you ARE a gay man, trapped in a womans body.
Pablo said…
Happy Birthday! And, I understand, completely.
Anonymous said…
Happy Birthday!

Don't let the world make you bitter. Watch some Will and Grace and take pride in your inner-Will. Who wants to be a Jack all whorish like that!!
Riss said…
Happy birthday and I think everyone goes through the bitterness at one point, it's just whether or not you choose to wallow in it.

People can be tainted and twisted by bitterness I think.

I hope you get something amazing for your birthday :)
Nölff said…
All I know is that Heroes is coming on tonight.
Butchie said…
Happy birthday, Betty! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
tornwordo said…
Happy Birthday, hope it lived up to its moniker. Happy, happy!
toobusyliving said…
Happy Birthday Mlloyd!
toobusyliving said…
Happy Birthday Mlloyd!
Snooze said…
Happy Birthday!
Crucible said…
Happy Birthday! Have Fun!
Pablo said…
Happy Birthday, again...since today is actually your birthday.
Normlr said…
Happy Birthday handsome!

Don't worry, the grass is always greener on the other side. I've spent the better part of my life in relationships. Looking back, I wish I'd spent more of that time single.

I think belated birthday drinks are in order next week. Any takers?
madamerouge said…
OMG, you guys...

[flaps hands in front of face, tearing up]

...so sweet, all of you...

[wonders where stripper-gram is]
did you delete my comment? you so hate me don't you? i take back my birthday wishes.
Jason said…
I never get a birthday.
St. Dickeybird said…
I'm in for drinkies!
And Jason, didn't we all drink on your birthday? Or am I creating my own memories?
Anonymous said…
Here we got with the "I don't get nothing" game. Dickeybird, just ignore him. He gets. He gets.
Natasha said…
Happy birthday, sweetie pie!!!! Here is a little song to make you smile:

Hickory dickory dock
Two mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The other got away
Hickory dickory dock

Love and kisses from,
John & Natasha
Jason said…
AG remembered! Yes drinkies soon.
Anonymous said…
Happy Birthday mnoyd !
Have fun at the movies with the Clacker.

XOX
Lorleen / Maureen

January 30, 2007 4:41 PM

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