Sunday, January 07, 2007

Santa might suspect I'm gay

Last year, it was decorative push pins:








This home organizer was in my stocking on Christmas eve 2006. It's very flowery.
























Who plays Santa during Christmas? No, it's not Peter. It's my mother. And another year has gone by without a long-overdue discussion.

Is praying for death an option? How about a coma?

18 comments:

Pablo said...

I could talk to them for you. This news is much easier to take coming from a gay Mexican. I'll soften them up with tacos.

Anonymous said...

You're not the only suspect.
My wife bought me bubblebath.

Anonymous said...

I want to send that cartoon to my student loans lady.

Salem said...

"Well, I might have been upset, dear, but these tacos were very good"

Miss Thistle said...

They'll probably be all "yeah, we know. Sheesh!"

your judgemental aunt said...

Just say this to her...

You: Are you happy now?
Her: What do you mean dear?
You: Well you have finally succeeded.
Her: With what?
You: Making me gay with all you flowers and decorative nick nacks.
Now you have something to talk about at book club, right? Does turning your son gay trump Colleen's angry dyke daughter?

Timmy said...

mmmmmmmmmm........tacos!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Have they met Peter or YJA? If they've met either of them, um -- they know!

It took UC's family all of about 10 seconds to figure out what Peter's deal was when AG said she was going somewhere around Church to meet her friend.

Anonymous said...

I'm not allowed within 100 miles of his mom. Mother's may not always know, but methinks his does.

teh l4m3 said...

My mother knows. Thank goodness I hired that tomato picker to ply her with tamales. Oh, and with his enormous latino cock.

Anonymous said...

decorative pushpins. Wow. I could totally think of this stuff but somehow my brain never goes there.

madamerouge said...

Pablo, Salem, Timmy: I don't think anyone would want to see projectile-vomited tacos.

Dickey: bubblebath? You have subject fodder for your next HNT post. We want to see more of your ass. Try not to drown as you lay ass-up in the tub.

Jason: is that cartoon not the funniest thing ever? I love it so much. For the longest time, I couldn't find it online. I mistakenly thought it was one of Bruce Eric Kaplan's.

TBL, Thistle: yeah, on some level...

YJA: classic

teh: LMFAO

Starlet: I suspect my "butch act" might be faltering, because somehow, my mother's brain always goes there. Kill me. Kill me, now.

Natasha said...

I think they know too.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should sit down with her say "Ok, you're right, I'm gay. BUT I'M NOT THAT GAY!!!"

Maybe she's just trying to over compensate. Rest assured no mother would ever buy that for their straight son. She's just trying to let you know that she knows.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Norm could be onto something. Like she wants the super gayiest kid. More than likely you liked this kind of stuff as a kid. Mothers act as though we are 5 age by giving us Kermit and Hollie Hobbie shit. Which would be fine but usually a single girl doesn't want that for her 35 year old boy toy who she has brought home to meet the parents!

teh teh, what did your mom say when she found out? I'd like to think UC and AG would be the super kewl parents who would be totally non shocked and down with it. I mean, UC's mother will throw a cow, but AG will be all -- Awesome. Can you bring home some cabana boys for Mommy?

Snooze said...

That cartoon is the best. So versatile

Butchieboy said...

Don't worry, MR. You will meet a nice girl (maybe from Indiana) and make out with her and fall in love and then you won't ever have to tell your mom that you are a big ol' homo.

Jack said...

It's not the same thing, but a lot of books on abuse suggest writing a letter to your abuser laying it all out. You don't have to send it ever, but at least you've kind of gotten it off your chest. Try to wait to talk to her until you really don't care how she'll react. Or at least that's my humble and uninformed opinion.