Monday, August 13, 2007

internalized homophobia

Last Monday, after I returned to Toronto from a long weekend at my parents' house, I flopped on the couch and watched some television. One of Ontario Travel's new ads came on -- a 60-second spot featuring Keshia Chanté.



Around 42 seconds into the spot, there is a fairly quick 3-shot sequence of some men meeting for gay pride celebrations.

That's when I blurted out "oh NO!" to no one in particular.

My blink reaction was negative. One of dismay and shame. Basically, homophobic.

Where the fuck did that come from? I wondered. I've been thinking about it ever since. I'm proud to live in Ontario, and even more proud that my province was one of the first jurisdictions in the world to uphold the rights of same-sex couples wishing to legally marry.

Was it my inner bitch speaking? ("Why did they have to portray young gay men?") Or was it a remnant of my weekend back in the closet, away from the city and the insular nature of my gay neighbourhood? Was it my mind processing the fact that my relationship with my parents is probably at its dysfunctional apex?

I was reminded of an anonymous comment on a post from last year about a gay guy I saw on the streetcar. The person who wrote "only emphasizes your own homophobia" really made me think. And now this. Do I have internalized homophobia, bubbling to the surface every now and then? Or am I just too easily annoyed by 20-something gay men in fauxhawks?

29 comments:

Snooze said...

Hmmm... I kind of liked the guy shot.

I don't like the fact it mainly shows Toronto!

Steven said...

It's the second one. Definately the second one.

BTW, someone told me I embody internalized racism because I made a comment about my own people in jest.

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

I do not think that you internalize it. Society in general I think it tired of hearing about the gay community but then I am sure the gay community is tured of hearing about things that make them sound as if they are all some kind of aliens and need to go away. Instead we should be united, but like a woman president or racism ending that won't happen for many eons to come. Just chalk it up to frustration. If you start having nightmares then I would staart to worry...

tornwordo said...

Shame? You gotta get rid of that. Dude.

Jason said...

I'm no fan of gays.

madamerouge said...

But you are gay.

Dead Robot said...

I got to see my straight brother get felt up on stage last Sunday in a play where he plays a crazy homosexual trying to sleep with his lesbian therapist.

Internalized or not, it fucking made me uncomfortable.

Brains of humans are difference machines. We are designed to judge within seconds. Maybe you need some rewiring.

Timmy said...

your blog is gay :)

St. Dickeybird said...

I don't think it's internalized homophobia, as much as a distaste for the fact that in the media GAY = Muscley, fauxhawked, white, golf-shirt-wearing queens.

St. Dickeybird said...

I know, because I have a gay coworker.

Mitzzee said...

you're just bitter.

madamerouge said...

LMFAO

Salem said...

You spent a week with parents and equate gay with stress. not a big deal. relax.

Jason said...

now i want a white polo shirt...

:(

Salem said...

all yours are blue.

Crucible said...

And here I thought I overthink things :)
I like the wakeboarding part of the ad - I finally tried it this yr cause my nephew dared me and my daughter got up. Few trys but I did it! (small victories for the aged)

Nölff said...

The gay guys here wear faux hawks.

There's a bar that my girlfriend kept making me go to called 621. They play gay porn on all the TV screens and every guy has a faux hawk.

I met the gay weather man there. He told me my forcast was partly queer with a chance of fag. He doesn’t have a faux hawk though.

I developed the hypothesis that faux are gay in 1999.

SharkBoy said...

Maybe I saw the "short" version but it just played on TV during the very important Sunday morning Coronation Street marathon and they cut the gay pride part out...

Dead Robot said...

Gays don't watch Coronation Street!

Phronk said...

Keshia Chante's presence in that ad made me wonder if I was supposed to recognize the guy singing in the other Ontario ad.

Also: Good things grow-oh-oh, in Ontari-oh.

Normlr said...

When I first saw that I thought "those guys look really faggy." Then I saw the rainbow flags in the background.

Ontario's great! We have stereotypical homos! Yay!

Butchie the Minx said...

Why do you hate the gays? :(

Jason said...

And why do you hate blogging?

Adorable said...

I think you were worried one of the dudes would be Butchie.

Shirley Heezgay said...

Post, already!

I'm dying for the next nugget of fabulous!

Butchie the Minx said...

LOL! Or AG's boyfriend!

Dead Robot said...

I am going to finger my wiener until you post aga...

uoups...

Jason said...

Lazy lazy bitch. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz

sirbarrett said...

Maybe you're a closet heterosexual.

Funny, I didn't even notice the gay pride part. Maybe I was too busy getting a bone on over Keisha. She's not Canadian is she?