internalized homophobia
Last Monday, after I returned to Toronto from a long weekend at my parents' house, I flopped on the couch and watched some television. One of Ontario Travel's new ads came on -- a 60-second spot featuring Keshia Chanté.
Around 42 seconds into the spot, there is a fairly quick 3-shot sequence of some men meeting for gay pride celebrations.
That's when I blurted out "oh NO!" to no one in particular.
My blink reaction was negative. One of dismay and shame. Basically, homophobic.
Where the fuck did that come from? I wondered. I've been thinking about it ever since. I'm proud to live in Ontario, and even more proud that my province was one of the first jurisdictions in the world to uphold the rights of same-sex couples wishing to legally marry.
Was it my inner bitch speaking? ("Why did they have to portray young gay men?") Or was it a remnant of my weekend back in the closet, away from the city and the insular nature of my gay neighbourhood? Was it my mind processing the fact that my relationship with my parents is probably at its dysfunctional apex?
I was reminded of an anonymous comment on a post from last year about a gay guy I saw on the streetcar. The person who wrote "only emphasizes your own homophobia" really made me think. And now this. Do I have internalized homophobia, bubbling to the surface every now and then? Or am I just too easily annoyed by 20-something gay men in fauxhawks?
Around 42 seconds into the spot, there is a fairly quick 3-shot sequence of some men meeting for gay pride celebrations.
That's when I blurted out "oh NO!" to no one in particular.
My blink reaction was negative. One of dismay and shame. Basically, homophobic.
Where the fuck did that come from? I wondered. I've been thinking about it ever since. I'm proud to live in Ontario, and even more proud that my province was one of the first jurisdictions in the world to uphold the rights of same-sex couples wishing to legally marry.
Was it my inner bitch speaking? ("Why did they have to portray young gay men?") Or was it a remnant of my weekend back in the closet, away from the city and the insular nature of my gay neighbourhood? Was it my mind processing the fact that my relationship with my parents is probably at its dysfunctional apex?
I was reminded of an anonymous comment on a post from last year about a gay guy I saw on the streetcar. The person who wrote "only emphasizes your own homophobia" really made me think. And now this. Do I have internalized homophobia, bubbling to the surface every now and then? Or am I just too easily annoyed by 20-something gay men in fauxhawks?
Comments
I don't like the fact it mainly shows Toronto!
BTW, someone told me I embody internalized racism because I made a comment about my own people in jest.
Internalized or not, it fucking made me uncomfortable.
Brains of humans are difference machines. We are designed to judge within seconds. Maybe you need some rewiring.
:(
I like the wakeboarding part of the ad - I finally tried it this yr cause my nephew dared me and my daughter got up. Few trys but I did it! (small victories for the aged)
There's a bar that my girlfriend kept making me go to called 621. They play gay porn on all the TV screens and every guy has a faux hawk.
I met the gay weather man there. He told me my forcast was partly queer with a chance of fag. He doesn’t have a faux hawk though.
I developed the hypothesis that faux are gay in 1999.
Also: Good things grow-oh-oh, in Ontari-oh.
Ontario's great! We have stereotypical homos! Yay!
I'm dying for the next nugget of fabulous!
uoups...
Funny, I didn't even notice the gay pride part. Maybe I was too busy getting a bone on over Keisha. She's not Canadian is she?