Thursday, September 06, 2007

second date rules

  • when waiting for a guy to call, the frequency of trivial/annoying phonecalls from your mother increases
  • your apartment is never cleaner than when you are expecting a second date
  • "I would really like to see you again" translates into "I am going to ignore you for a week"
  • "maybe we could get together on Labour Day for coffee" means "you're a monster; fuck off and die"
  • it's all your fault for proactively following up with a phonecall on the tentative second date day
  • the gods will punish you for viewing the world through refreshed, "I have a second date" eyes
  • there is no such thing as a second date in your reality, so this list is shit

20 comments:

Steven said...

You mean people go on second dates? When did this happen?

Dead Robot said...

>>Your wardrobe shrinks considerably as the second date approaches.

>>Your grooming takes much longer as well.

>>Whole conversations are played out inside your head, hours before the second date. Usually clever punctuations like "Oh you!" Or "I see your point!" are filed away under "KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING, FOOL"

>>Your bank account usually does not co-operate on the evening of the second date. Student loan payments know when you have a second date.

Jason said...

ROTFLOL.

Jajajajajajaja.

I want a first date.

:(

SharkBoy said...

I hear a second date in the lesbian world involves a U-Haul

Salem said...

Maybe we could.... means NEVER

sirbarrett said...

Following up on it with a phone call is decent courtesy. If they don't like it, they can f%$k off and die.

I like that about the bubble-headed beach blond.

Phronk said...

Cheer up! There are plenty of fish in the sea!

tornwordo said...

At least you didn't get stood up. And ditto phronk.

Snooze said...

I can really relate to this list, but you know, I've also had the opposite where after a second date I can see odd personality traits developing [probably because I'm rarely sober on first dates]. So look at it like you might have dodged a sociopath!

Mitzzee said...

2nd dates are overrated anyway. just come to the cottage with me and we'll drink fine wine, sit by lake and chat....sound good? i'm better date anyway. ;)

big hug. sorry sweetie....but phronko is right....even if they are all blowfish. :O

Jason said...

why do you always wreck everything?

what's wrong with you?

Jack said...

He'll call faster if you find another first date. Go on, man, you're a good guy.

Jason said...

You wrecked it.

Pablo said...

I'd go on a second date with you, Madame.

You have to remember that this is the gay world. Not trying to stereotype or anything, but guys do that type of thing. It has happened to me A LOT! I mean, a lot. Don't take it personally.

There are plenty of guys who would be happy to go on second, third, fourth dates and so on with you. You're just not going out with them.

Butchie the Minx said...

Maybe stop putting out on the first date. Make him work for it, a little.

madamerouge said...

I DID NOT SLEEP WITH HIM! We kissed goodnight; that's it.

Adorable said...

I think Butchie meant that is why he never gets a second date!

Dead Robot said...

Maybe you SHOULD have put out.

It's so convoluted.

your judgemental aunt said...

I took you on a date Saturday night. It consisted of me seeing you on the street and dragging you to a bar with all my drunk friends. Followed by having you purchase me a beer then some dancing. You left during the drunken dancing.
Does that mean we will or will not have a second date?

madamerouge said...

I left because I was tired, and I couldn't stand the music.

I wish I had talked to the guy playing pool. He was woofy.