I always win

Förkrossade

2011-09-08T22:59:00.008-04:00

I've been devouring recent media coverage (including some in Swedish, with the help of Google Translate) about the rocky state of affairs at SAAB, and I'm pretty heartbroken/crushed (förkrossade) about it all. What I hadn't considered was how Mrs. Viggen* felt.

This morning, she was so verklempt that she blew her rad out. Luckily, I had a safe place to immediately pull over to. I shut her down, opened the hood, and called a tow truck.

Her first owner took delivery in October 1999; I got her in March 2003. The radiator was original; I certainly don't judge it for failing after 12 years / 136000 km. The experts at Beacon Motors had a new rad installed by 3 p.m. I'm back home now, looking out at her... parked in her spot. I love this car. I love SAAB.

*SAAB 9-5 Wagon + SAAB 37 Viggen jet fighter + Carol Burnett's "Mrs. Wiggins" = Mrs. Viggen

articles
Looks Like Saab's Last Gasp (Motor Trend)
"Inside Saab" blog post on the application for reorganization
Finally, Saab's long goodbye is almost over (The Globe and Mail)
Swedish court rejects Saab reconstruction (The Local, Sweden's News in English)

oh noes

2011-08-04T23:51:00.002-04:00

fabulous glam omg Queer Idol ANTM

2011-02-12T18:54:00.008-05:00

1 Girl 5 Gays
grindr
Johnny Weir
Adam Lambert
gay characters on 90210
omg my school won't let me take my boyfriend to prom

and then there's this

progress is essential; even nice
it's also hard-won and ongoing

old, old

2010-02-17T11:37:00.003-05:00

My friends and I have all freaked out about how young Taylor Lautner is (born in 1992). But as Ellen danced to C+C Music Factory's "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" today, I realized that Lautner was born after that song came out. It charted a full year before he was born. Oh, and Madonna's "Vogue"? Released almost two years before Lautner's birth.

I decided to re-write the lyrics to "Vogue". It's how I feel this morning.

what are you looking at?
old, old

break a hip
break a hip

look around, everywhere you turn it's walkers
they're everywhere that you go
you try everything you can to stand up
and not die in the bathtub

when your health fails and you long to be
someone younger than you are today
I know a place where you can get away
it's called dementia
and you get it when you're

old, old
feel your body break to the music
hey hey hey
fuckin' old
let your body go with the flow
you know you have Depends on

all you need is your own senility
so use it, that's what it's for
remember when you weren't so effing ancient
your dreams will open the door

it makes no difference if you're black or white
if you're a boy or a girl
if the Geritol's pumpin' it will give you new life
you're a superstar
yes, forget that you are

fucking old
feel your joints creak to the music
hey hey hey
so very old
let your bladder go, let it flow
you have adult diapers on yeah

Canadian hotness

2010-02-13T01:26:00.006-05:00

...greets the world at the opening ceremonies of the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver. I believe this stunningly beautiful man is a member of the Tsleil-Waututh Nation.

I've had a special reverence for the First Nations of Canada's west coast since I was in primary school. I did a project on the Interior Salish. They are wicked cool.

I love you, wolf guy.

R.I.P. SAAB

2009-12-18T10:18:00.003-05:00

I'll love you forever.

GM, you suck. You left the brand to grow dusty on the shelf, where it atrophied and ultimately died.

misogynistic doosh begets misogynistic doosh

2009-06-09T16:50:00.019-04:00

Roth's hometown (Morrisville PA) is not in the southern US. The last time I checked, if you're north of the Mason-Dixon line, you're in the north. (The article can be found here.)

Whatever. I still cringe when I hear "I Love College" — just as I cringe when I see/hear/read about Eminem. Despite Roth's claims in ILC ("I love women" and "don't have sex if she's too gone"), the video has a fair share of misogynist imagery. And I've read enough about his other songs to conclude that he has a lot to learn about how to treat women with respect.

Oh, and Asher? Putting two condoms on is not* an effective means of protection.

*http://www.nyu.edu/shc/promotion/condoms.dental.dams.html
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1139.html

how not to cope with unemployment

2009-05-23T22:57:00.013-04:00

I went on a spending binge this week: $683.54 on credit. To put things in perspective, I have no income at the moment. My entire severance went into an RRSP back in December. Since my layoff, I've been living on my vacation pay payout, a non-registered mutual fund, income tax refund, and credit. My EI benefits will kick in next month; until then, things are pretty lean.

Why, then, am I spending like a drunken sailor in port?

I'm a gay man, so shopping is pleasurable. Groceries are a necessary purchase; many items were picked up at sale prices. The "personal care" category was high this week — I needed sunscreen, which isn't cheap. I broke my Ray-Ban Aviators, so I replaced them with a less-expensive house brand.

Justifying the rest of it becomes difficult. Could I have waited to buy the new Tori Amos CD? Probably not. But I also bought CDs by Alphabeat and P!nk, and the new Stevie Nicks concert DVD.

I washed my car twice — I'm convinced that maple sap is harmful to the finish.

I set up my balcony and bought some plants: one tall oleander and some herbs (cilantro and Italian parsley). At least I can eat the herbs.*

I ate fast food twice — a definite no-no. Chalk it up to emotional eating...

Where I fall down is my Sunday trip to Niagara-on-the-Lake. I was with some monied gays; it was very hard to keep up. I should have stayed home... but at least I realized that the guy I had been going out on dates with (the most monied of the gays) was totally wrong for me. For $146, I got a great dinner, a lot of ice wine tasting, and insight. Valuable, valuable insight...

* never, EVER eat oleander. It is one of the most poisonous plants in the world.

R.I.P. Bea

2009-04-25T18:01:00.005-04:00

Beatrice Arthur, the tall, deep-voiced actress whose razor-sharp delivery of comedy lines made her a TV star in the hit shows "Maude" and "The Golden Girls" and who won a Tony Award for the musical "Mame," died Saturday. She was 86.

Rest in peace, Bea. My adoration for you will live on.

10 years ago

2009-03-31T16:53:00.035-04:00

downtown Seattle from the ferry dock at Bainbridge Island, March 31 1999

On March 30 1999, I flew from Toronto to Seattle to start an exciting chapter of my life: an internship at the head office of the company I worked for. It was a big deal for me. Not only was I hopeful about where the internship might take my career, but I had always been envious of my high school friends who bravely went on student exchanges. Here I was, jetting off to a city I'd never been to before, and living with people I had never met.

My company's legal department determined that I didn't need a work visa. Instead, I'd apply for entry under a provision of NAFTA. I had full references and documentation; still, I was nervous clearing U.S. customs at Pearson. Before my car service arrived to take me to the airport, I took an Ativan.

I sailed through effortlessly.

My Air Canada flight to Sea-Tac will likely remain one of the most pleasurable I've ever taken. Relaxed from the Ativan — and helped along with a couple Canadian Club — I looked out the window as the ¼-full A319 chased the setting sun to the west coast.

After arriving, I took a shuttle downtown. I checked in to a hotel for my first two nights (staff rate, of course). The next day, I took the ferry to Bainbridge Island and back, taking some pictures along the way.

I explored Pike Place Market and went to the original Starbucks. I met some of the people (friends of friends/ coworkers) I had remotely connected with, and got a preview of the apartment I'd be sharing in First Hill. (I had placed an ad in The Stranger weeks before.) Fortuitously, my new room-mates had been seeking a temporary third occupant for the exact date range I was going to be in Seattle. Meeting them, I instantly felt at home.

I started my internship on the first of April, 1999. It led to a brief-but-unsuccessful stint as a magazine editor the following year, and — after returning to my hotel company with a bruised ego — another temporary placement with the Canadian head office in 2003.

I love Seattle. The friends I made there remain dear to me, even after a decade.

taken from the Washington State ferry, March 31 1999

graphic

2009-03-25T01:19:00.010-04:00

In a graphic display of vulnerability and weakness, I called Stephen on March 10th. In tears. I hadn't heard from him since his expressway breakup phone call, and I lost my shit. He talked me down from my emotional ledge, and we're in occasional contact now. Healthy contact. His perspective: things are parked, but not over. My perspective: I'll probably never forget that he chose career over love. I'm going out on dates with other guys, but it might be too soon.

In a rare moment of clarity and focus, I decided on an action plan for returning to school (and ultimately work) — graphic design. I'm working with my Second Career counsellor to get everything in place. With any luck, I'll be starting a 28-week program at a Toronto graphic design school in July.

So, despite my unemployed status, my time is taken up with research and prep work.* I'm behind in my blog reading. (Sorry.)

* oh, who am I kidding? I'm still addicted to television, Internet gay pr0n, and Facebook

never trust a paper placemat

2009-03-13T12:55:00.008-04:00

I could never remember my Chinese Zodiac sign. A couple of years ago — while engaging in emotional eating at Mandarin ("Gung Hay Fat Choy!") — I looked up my birth year (1970) on the paper placemat. "Neat!" I thought. "Year of the Dog... I like dogs!" I took the placemat home, clipped out my sign, and put it on my bulletin board.

This morning, my friend Penelope sent me a link to a "birthday calculator" website. Just for shits & giggles, I plugged in my d.o.b.

SHOCKER! I'm not Year of the Dog after all... I'm Year of the Rooster! 20 minutes of Internet research confirms that I am, indeed, a cock. I was born in early 1970 — before the switch from Rooster to Dog.

I now have to re-evaluate my entire life. All of those failed relationships with Snakes and Dragons? Bah! Folly. That cool, Aquarian distance I'm sometimes guilty of exhibiting? Replace that Dog trait with the eccentric, loner-ish tendencies of the Rooster.

Year: Feb 17 1969 – Feb 05 1970
Associated Element: Yin Earth
Heavenly Stem: 己
Earthly Branch: 酉
Associated Animal: Rooster

Uh-oh... flashback! Something tells me that I conveniently "forgot" I was a rooster... As a redhead, I think I went into denial: "I can't be a Rooster! That's just way too much red!"

I will never watch BSG again

2009-03-01T12:55:00.014-05:00

Stephen (the guy I was seeing; the one I so foolishly thought I was going to marry) ended things this morning. Over the phone. While he was driving to his eighth straight day at work.

I've been robbed of the dignity I would've had by ending things first. We've had many problems in our very short time together. From early on, I found it difficult to adjust to his unpredictable and erratic behaviour. On our second date, he said "I already know how I'm going to propose to you." On our third date, he (jokingly) said "I know it's early, but will you marry me?" I laughed it off, but later that evening, I did tell him that I loved him. He responded with "I think I love you too."

He had a business trip to the UK after our third date. He called me daily. One evening (while drunk), he said "I do love you, you know that... right?"

He was honest from the beginning about his shortcomings: he smoked too much pot, he was terrible with money, he had a bad history with infidelity... I took these things in stride, knowing that no one's perfect.

The high point was reached on my birthday (January 30th). He took me out for an amazing dinner, and told me repeatedly "you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

The bloom was off the rose in early February. Stephen had a doctor's appointment, and I met him afterward for lunch. His doctor had noticed a mark on his hand and decided a syphilis test was in order. "Don't worry babe," he told me. "If I have syphilis, it would be like the immaculate conception. I had almost no sex last year." He started to pull away from me after that point. Two weeks later, he called and told me that the test was positive. I couldn't get an appointment with my GP, so off to the free clinic I went. After enduring that humiliation — and post-exposure prophylaxis for syphilis — Stephen called and dropped another bomb on me: he was sure he contracted it in the UK.

Monogamy is tricky at best in the human mammal; it's almost non-existent among gay men. But it was way too soon for this problem to pop up on the radar.

While I write this, I'm fighting the urge to put my feelings down on paper, tuck it into the shoebox full of his stuff (including souvenirs from England and the first season of BSG), and drop it off at his house. I want to be the bigger person, and not act out of spite. I want him to realize that he let a quality, husband-material guy slip out of his hands.

Stephen introduced me to BSG, but I will never be able to watch it again. I will always associate it with him. The sombre, haunting intro music goes through me like a knife. I can't take the darkness, the death, the fear...

Battlestar Galactica

2009-02-19T08:50:00.015-05:00

The guy I'm seeing lent me the first season of Battlestar Galactica (including the four-hour introductory miniseries) on DVD. Last night, I watched the "Six Degrees of Separation" episode, which (according to the DVD) originally aired on February 18, 2005. I'm four years late for the party, but fervently enjoying it.

One reason I didn't pay much attention to BSG initially: snobbery. When I surf-landed on it years ago, I picked up on some cheesy Canadian production traits that led me to dismiss it. The series screamed "low budget" to me at the time, due to the prevalence of pegboard in the set construction. Even now that I'm hooked (pardon the pun), the pegboard still makes me cringe.

Another minor annoyance: the accents. XO Tigh speaking with an immediately recognizable Canadian accent gives me cognitive dissonance.* No disrespect to Michael Hogan intended; I think he's a fine actor and a total DILF. The same goes for James Callis as Dr. Gaius Baltar. The British accent is often used — perhaps over-used — as a device for quasi-villainous / outright villainous characters; I think it could have been left out here.**

My bitchy snap-judgements aside, I'm totally in love. One major reason: the incredible Mary McDonnell as President Laura Roslin. The character's health issues resonated with me.

The fine man-candy doesn't hurt, either: Jamie Bamber and Tahmoh Penikett are gorgeous.

Now if only the writers would stop inserting variants of "frak" into every third word of the script...

SPOILERS IN THE FINE PRINT!

* even if Colonel Tigh is from the Thirteenth Colony / Earth, I still think the Canuck accent is distracting
** more on the accents can be found here and here

Matt Light? WOOF!

2009-02-02T19:22:00.026-05:00

Good LORD this man is hot (dancing football stud on the left):

Sobe - Lizard Lake @ Yahoo! Video

Matt Light plays for the New England Patriots. I don't watch football, but I pay attention to the Superbowl ads the next day. I had no idea who Matt Light was until this ad. Damn! He even has his own charitable foundation.

HOW HOT IS HE? Jeebus! And he can dance! I wonder if he'll do Dancing with the Stars one day.

I am in bear heaven.

WHAT. A. MAN !

yet another reason the CRTC is laughable

2009-01-15T12:55:00.007-05:00

The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission, in an 'effort' to help Canadians avoid unwanted telephone calls from telemarketers, created the National Do Not Call List last year. I am so glad I didn't sign up. Global News is reporting a major flaw with the list: it is ridiculously easy to pretend to be a compliant telemarketer, pay $50, obtain the list, and start bombarding people on the list with calls.

What a fucking joke. I've been pissed at the CRTC ever since the early 1980s, when my isolated northwestern Ontario town finally received two extra tv channels from a private company. Granted, the service was outside the law, but when you're a kid and you only get one tv station, you don't care about legality. You're forever scarred because all the cool shows you were watching on WGN Chicago and a major movie network are yanked away from you... and you're back to Three's Company reruns on CBC.

Seriously, are monkeys running this stupid government bureaucracy?

update

2009-01-02T23:04:00.005-05:00

A lot has happened in the past month. On December 2, 2008, I suddenly became jobless after my employer of 13.5 years eliminated my position. This is a good thing; I was not at all happy in my job, as indicated by several previous posts on this blog. I'm signed up for Employment Insurance, and registered in a provincial government program called Second Career. I have my first appointment with them in a couple of weeks. It's time to give my career a soft reboot. Or reinstall my career's OS.

I travelled a lot in December — trips that were arranged before I got the axe. I was in San Francisco from the 6th to the 11th. I just love it there. The trip was inexpensive, because it was on frequent flyer miles and hotel points.

I was in Florida over Christmas, visiting my snowbird parents. They're in central Florida, amid plentiful orange groves, cattle ranches, and surprisingly hilly terrain. The distance from the ocean was more than made up for by the enormous outdoor pool at the resort. I spent a lot of time swimming, and reading in the shade.

In between California and Florida, I had lots of errands and tasks to take care of. Unemployment is a lot of work! Luckily, I live in a rent-controlled co-op, so I was able to get a rent subsidy which really helps me in this transition period. I also have a new financial advisor assisting me with the numbers.

And... tonight, I met the man I'm pretty sure I'm going to marry.

I hate Toronto's new PVT

2008-11-20T22:50:00.013-05:00

City hall apparently thinks that no one in Toronto needs a car. Most car-owners will effectively see their annual registration / licensing fees increase by 80%.* Bad car owners! Bad! Don't you know that the TTC will magically transport you anywhere you want to go, in a 100% stress-free environment? The TTC never goes on strike, and its operators are hardly ever unpleasant. BAD CAR OWNERS! BAD! And when you're not taking the TTC, you can walk. The weather is never inclement. Or hey, ride a bicycle! You won't be breathing in any pollution or particulate matter, because the public transit system is so efficient, hardly anyone drives! Heck, they're eventually going to rip down the rest of the Gardiner Expressway. We're on the verge of using matter-energy transport. Or flying carpets. Who needs cars? Bring on the $60 annual Personal Vehicle Tax! That'll learn them right-wing, conservative, car-drivin' rednecks up real nice! (They're probably from out west, anyway.)

FUCK YOU.

* in southern Ontario, the current annual cost to renew licence plates with the province is $75. Adding the $60 municipal tax brings your real cost to $135.

There were leaves. I peeped.

2008-10-15T21:42:00.005-04:00

...and snapped a couple of digital pictures.

Simcoe County, Ontario
October 12 2008

FMGWAC news

2008-09-23T22:50:00.004-04:00

- from Yahoo! Canada

- from CBC

FMGWAC = "fuck me gently with a chainsaw"

summer holiday

2008-08-28T01:29:00.013-04:00

It's an overdue post, but since I'm already up with insomnia, here is an update on my vacation to area code 807.

You know you're in northwestern Ontario when you start seeing Robin's Donuts stores. Here's a shot of my take-out Robin's coffee early in the morning of July 20th, on the Trans-Canada Highway just west of White River.

1800 km from Toronto, and this is far as Mrs. Viggen* can take me. My family's cabin is another few kilometres by boat. Note the gorgeous Red Pine. The sound of the wind flowing through its needles is beyond calming.

* my car's nickname

The Bald Eagle population is thriving.

The view from my bedroom window.

I had a great time. Unfortunately, when I came back to Toronto, there was a total shitstorm at work, and I've been trying to recover ever since. Increased dosages of anti-depressants are helping, as is a strong ethic of "I don't give a fuck."

because I nearly hurled watching Iron Chef last night

2008-07-09T23:50:00.004-04:00

It was some sort of disgusting cheese extravaganza. I watched a chef take a chunk of slimy, mouldy Gorgonzola, throw it in a food processor, and turn it into a vomitous slurry of utter puke-tacular horror. I gagged.

It reminded me that I haven't bitched about disgusting barf cheese lately. But it has been on my mind since reading this AFP story about a European cheese scam involving the reuse of cheese that was unfit for human consumption:

"The rotten cheese, containing mice droppings as well as residue from plastic wrapping and ink labels, was mixed with fresh cheese products and used to make cheeses such as mozzarella and gorgonzola."

No, I know. I'm the unsophisticated non-foodie who is disgusted by cheese that smells like a big puddle of sick. With mould.

In case anyone needs reminding of the science behind this:

- from Wikipedia

escape route

2008-06-23T22:54:00.009-04:00

Let me state at the outset: I support the idea of a gay pride weekend. I used to participate. But I think it has become way too large.

Nearly 10 years ago, I moved to Church/Wellesley, thinking it would be great to be in the middle of it all &mdash including pride weekend.

The novelty wore off. I live at Pride Ground Zero; I'll own that. I have choices: I can participate, I can leave the city for the weekend, or I can move.

However, the letter sent to me by Pride Toronto made me chuckle. It's well-intentioned, and it's great to provide street closure information to the community. But there is some language that, to me, conjures up images of stress, combat, and violence.

It talks about traveling "the gauntlet of Church Street". Like running the gauntlet. Funny... that's exactly what a crushing crowd seems like to me if I'm not under the influence of intoxicants!

And there's a reference to passing "through the crosshairs of Church & Wellesley". Crosshairs! As in the telescopic sights of a gun!

Finally, it outlines plans for an "escape route" in case local residents need to arrive or depart by car.

This does not sound enjoyable. Not in the least.

lizards

2008-06-09T21:51:00.004-04:00

I've come to the conclusion that people who enjoy hot, humid weather are part reptile. Please allow me to explain...

If you were on the southbound 6 Bay bus at 8:40 this morning, I was the guy in the aviators (wearing a shirt & tie) with rivulets of perspiration flowing down his forehead, nose, earlobes, and neck. I'm sorry. I was clean, and I was wearing anti-perspirant... but it was stuffy as Hell in the back of that bus, and for some reason, most of the windows were closed. The relative humidity this morning was well into the 60% range, and it was already near 30°C with the humidex.

(The bus was one of the old GM "fishbowls"... no air conditioning.)

I had grabbed the only available seat, next to a non-opening rear window.

I stared at a girl sitting in the back corner of the bus &mdash next to one of the closed windows &mdash and I couldn't figure out how she was surviving. Other people were starting to open windows, but the bus was stuck in traffic and there was no air flow. This girl just sat in the baking sun and stifling air, completely unaffected. In other words, like a lizard sunning herself on a rock.

(Making the ride even more torturous was the person next to me with an iPod, listening to some sort of caterwauling that I can only presume was Jordin Sparks.)

Luckily, I caught an air-conditioned 97 Yonge bus home. I saw more lizards at Yonge-Dundas Square, where a cosmetics company was touching up people's makeup for the Luminato festival. I laughed out loud: where would you start? The frizzy hair, or the makeup sliding down people's faces in the muggy late afternoon heat?

These people should be studied.

DILF

2008-05-27T22:24:00.005-04:00

My Eddie Bauer catalogue arrived in the mail today.

On a related note, I'm being evicted for touching myself inappropriately in the mailroom of my building.*

*(just kidding)

rich Corinthian leather

2008-04-02T20:27:00.006-04:00

It's laundry night, and I found another treasure in the laundry room of my apartment building: an ad for the 1984 Chrysler New Yorker in the March 1984 issue of Architectural Digest. Check out Ricardo Montalbán!

I remember these cars. There was an electronic voice alert that would tell you "the door is ajar" and other things the driver of a car should already have an innate awareness of. The seats — whether they were upholstered in velour or "rich leather" — were extremely soft and cushioned like a sofa.

In the eleventh grade, my friend Barb and I bombed around one snowy winter night in her mom's New Yorker. More on that later.

I don't understand Windows Media Player 11

2008-03-16T21:14:00.008-04:00

I don't remember how long I've had a copy of "Let it Snow" by Harry Connick Jr. I can say with confidence that in previous versions of Windows Media Player, I had the song categorized as Christmas or holiday -- but not ethnic. I'm pretty anal about how I categorize my digital music files.

I fought with this program for most of last Sunday, trying to burn a couple of mixed CDs. It was a frustrating experience. I lost playlists on several occasions -- after thinking that I had properly saved them.

And I find it annoying that I can't deactivate the setting that displays little CD icons for all of the album artwork. It's too much.

my day

2008-03-04T22:46:00.006-05:00

06:30 a.m. - up
08:15 a.m. - ultrasound at Sunnybrook
09:05 a.m. - another tech comes into room for advice, leaving door open
09:06 a.m. - people in hall walk by and see me in my underwear / hospital gown
09:07 a.m. - get up from gurney and close door, loudly
09:15 a.m. - wipe up lube, dress, head to lab for bloodwork
09:30 a.m. - leave hospital, drive south on Bayview
09:40 a.m. - massive traffic jam, due to closure of Bayview extension
09:55 a.m. - after doubling back up to Eglinton Ave. East, drive to DVP
10:05 a.m. - cut off by burgundy Jeep Liberty refusing to let me merge onto DVP
10:06 a.m. - watch Jeep Liberty make illegal lane change, southbound at Don Mills
10:07 a.m. - watch Jeep Liberty change lanes again while cutting off bus
10:08 a.m. - get caught behind a light blue Jaguar driving way underneath limit
10:09 a.m. - pass Jaguar, notice driver is reading newspaper
10:20 a.m. - arrive at work to "start" my day!
09:20 p.m. - find out I didn't get awesome government job I applied for in January

Marion? Edith? Mitzzee?

2008-02-25T21:09:00.003-05:00

Several times during the telecast of the Academy Awards, I turned to Jason and said, "I can't believe how much Marion Cotillard looks like Mitzzee."

Mitz, you must dress up as Édith Piaf for Hallowe'en.

fall down go w00t!

2008-02-12T21:28:00.000-05:00

Presented for your amusement: a funny "wet floor" sign:

OMG I'm falling down! WHEEEEEE-E-E-E-E-E!!!!!

the funniest FSA in Canada

2008-01-27T11:18:00.000-05:00

I'm still obsessed with LOLcats. I fight the urge to use kitty pigdin in every e-mail I send. In conversation, I find myself using "LOL" in situations where I want to convey something funny. It's completely out of hand.

My embrace of anarchy is limited to the LOLcat grammatical kind. In most other aspects of life, I am a rule follower -- for instance, postal codes. Most of my American friends had never heard of the + 4 before I came along -- and I'm Canadian. As for my Canadian friends, I drive some of them crazy with my insistence upon the proper usage of the Canadian postal code. Did you know that hyphenating a postal code can interfere with scanning equipment, and possibly delay the delivery of mail? It's true. Punctuation should be avoided. Fixed-width fonts should be used. And never use the # sign. NEVER!

This brings me to the FSA (forward sortation area) of the Canadian postal code. I want to live here, because it just might be the funniest area of Canada:

Of course, the FSA for that area of Ontario is L0L (L zero L), not LOL. But... it's pretty close, eh?

LOL

park

2008-01-19T23:50:00.000-05:00

This week, I saw the Neville Park "mini-ravine" for the first time. I was driving down Victoria Park Avenue to meet a friend in the Beaches neighbourhood. Vic Park gets very quiet and residential down by the lake. It jogs slightly to the east at Bracken Avenue... and that's where I had to stop and take a look.

In front of me was a landscape I had never seen before, yet it was strangely familiar. I've had a recurring dream about an almost exact replica of this beautiful, south-facing, tree-lined ravine.

The light was poor, but I took a photo anyway. You can see Lake Ontario in the background.

On my way back home, I got this shot of downtown Toronto on Kingston Road, just east of Woodbine. Again... not the best light. I shot several, but my hands were freezing and the best vantage point was in the middle of the road.

Once home, I did this:

It's basically the same thing I've done with this blog. I haven't quit or bailed on it for Facebook, but I needed to unplug for a while. I've been getting used to some management changes at work. I'm also getting used to a new régime of anti-depressants. Let's hope the third SSRI's the charm!

Family Guy episode 5ACX21

2007-11-28T00:36:00.000-05:00

In the Family Guy episode "Peter's Daughter" (originally aired November 25 2007), Meg is thrilled to receive a Maroon 5 CD from Michael, the med student she's dating. Says Michael: "I remember how you told me you like terrible music, so I thought you might appreciate it."

LOVE IT

There were many other moments where I howled with laughter... Peter's "Officer Nasty" striptease... the Sanka commercial...

...and this:

I LOVE IT SO MUCH!

_________________________________________________________

update - November 29 2007, 12:30 a.m.

Well, the clip is already yanked from YouTube. Wow, that didn't take Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation long. The clip (all 20 seconds of it) was a spoof of Aliens, with Mike Henry doing his campy best.

I understand and respect copyright, and if I headed a major entertainment corporation, I would probably have my staff chase down full-length episodes from sites like YouTube. But a 20-second clip? These clips help fuel a huge show fan base, and I can't believe companies like NBC* and Fox devote time and resources into such pedantry. Protect your advertising revenue stream, yes. Get nitpicky over short, review-length clips? No!

Or maybe this has something to do with the ongoing Writer's Guild of America strike. I don't know.

I didn't upload the clip to YouTube. But I provided link references to the show and the episode on this post. And on November 28th, my blog was the #4 Google hit for "Family Guy Season Six Officer Nasty" and the #6 Google hit for "Family Guy Sanka Commercial" -- but enough of this free advertising. From now on, I won't blog about Family Guy.

* remember Dick in a Box? It went VIRAL. People LOVED it. And NBC couldn't have been more anal-retentive in its campaign to scrub the Web of all traces of it. Internet buzz is modern-day word-of-mouth advertising. Free. Companies that don't recognize that are fucking DINOSAURS.

Don't tase me, bro!

2007-11-19T20:37:00.000-05:00

I've had it with electroshock weapons. Members of my family have served the public as police officers, and I know that policing is a demanding, difficult, and dangerous job. But let's not kid ourselves: this is not Star Trek technology, and a Taser® is not a phaser set on stun. (And Dr. Crusher isn't beaming distance away, waiting to offer the services of sickbay.)

Since October 14 2007, I have been following the story of Robert Dziekanski with great sadness. Dziekanski was killed when RCMP officers shot him with a Taser at Vancouver International Airport. The government of British Columbia has announced a public inquiry into the events. Amnesty International is concerned about these weapons, and would like their use to be suspended while they are studied more closely.

Heather Mallick hits it out of the park on cbc.ca today:

He was Robert Dziekanski, who had just made the first plane flight of his life. Unable to speak a word of English, sleepless, dehydrated, stranded for 10 hours in the airport, unable to talk to his mother who — if he only knew — was 100 metres away on the other side of a door, had a massive panic attack.

He stood beneath a sign that read "WELCOME. Airport Greeting Centre." When the RCMP arrived, they calmly — and it is their calmness that condemns them — marched up to Dziekanski, who was pitifully relieved to see them. The video shows that they electrocuted him repeatedly from a distance and landed on him, crushing his neck, as he writhed and screamed in pain. And then he stopped, dead. On the video, the RCMP made no effort to revive him.

I know many people in law enforcement might disagree with Amnesty International, Heather, and me. To them, I pose this question: Dziekanski was acting unruly and creating a disturbance. Did he deserve to die for that?

notes

- don't get too excited about the "excited delirium" theory... the jury's still out on that one
- the title of this post references the now infamous University of Florida incident from September 2007

hooray

2007-11-06T19:07:00.000-05:00

~~No more sugar rationing! The war is over.~~

~~Breadlines are a thing of the past! Food is plentiful.~~

TTC tokens become available again!

Now that the Toronto Transit Commission price increase has taken effect, commuters can actually buy tokens again. The price has increased to $2.25, but this is a bargain compared to the $2.75 cash fare many riders were forced to pay because of the recent token rationing policy. Those fancy tokens must be made of gold and platinum for the TTC to be so anal about them!

"Tokens are expensive to produce … we simply don't have enough if everyone stored 100 at home." - TTC chair Adam Giambrone

I am sure that some riders stockpile tokens at the old price. But Giambrone is delusional if he thinks that we all have a few hundred extra dollars lying around to invest in subway tokens. People buy tokens for two main reasons: they can save a bit of money compared to regular cash fare, and they can enter a station via turnstile. (That second feature is really handy when there's a lineup of 50 people trying to buy a Metropass at the beginning of the month -- or when one of the fare booth workers is on break.)

What an interesting approach to running a business: assume your customers are always trying to fuck you over.

I understand that the TTC and the city are in a financial bind. I don't understand why the TTC adopts a backward, indifferent, and hostile plan of business in an era when society would be best served by trying to entice -- not discourage -- people to use public transit.

In Berlin, you can pay your fare at an automated machine that couldn't be simpler to use -- in one of several languages. In Toronto, it's rare to find a token vending machine that's in service. Need a receipt? Visit the fare booth, where you're likely to wait in a long line, while people with transfers and exact change push past you. The fare collector will write you a receipt by hand. Isn't that nifty? Just like 1950!

Confession: I had three leftover tokens, purchased last week. I can assure you it was an inadvertent hoard -- I walked to/from work more than usual, because of the nice weather. I owe the TTC 45¢ -- please don't call the Stasi on me.

kitty

2007-10-29T21:33:00.000-04:00

born: summer 1990
died: October 24, 2007

August 1990

autumn 1990

Christmas 1991

winter 2003

you showed up not long after we did

you made Hallowe'en that much more fun

you kicked immeasureable amounts of raccoon butt

when I was nauseous from new meds and knocked out from dimenhydrinate, I woke to find you curled up in the nook of my arm

when S and I were still together, I would wake up sandwiched between the two of you

you threw up the night Stephen Harper was elected

mice, birds, rabbits, snakes... you were so generous with your gifts

thanks for being a great pet... we love you

Tori Amos, Sony Centre, 23oct2007

2007-10-23T23:45:00.000-04:00

I just got back from seeing Tori Amos in concert at The Sony Centre with Thistle. This is the 7th or 8th time I've seen Tori live -- I have to go through some shoeboxes, find the ticket stubs, and get an exact tally.

What can I say? I love you, Tori (there! I said it on my blog, instead of yelling it out during the show). "Space Dog" sent chills through my body during both of its bridges. And I loved how Pip gave us all the finger after she finished.

I'll close with the refrain from the end of Hey Jupiter - The Dakota Version. These lyrics have always blown me away. Tori played it tonight as her final encore.

I go from day to day
I know where the cupboards are
I know where the car is parked
I know he isn't you

Family Guy season premiere: chock full of the Schwartz

2007-09-23T22:50:00.001-04:00

I'm still laughing after the season premiere of Family Guy.

eventually got over my inner nerd's problem with the "casting" of Herbert as Obi-Wan*
loved the Airplane references
the scene with Lois/Leia and Cleveland/R2-D2 trying to shoot an mpeg is absolutely brilliant
kept wondering when Meg was going to show up. When she appeared as the monster in the Death Star's trash compactor, I totally lost it.

* Obi-Wan is such a reverent character... there is almost something disrespectful about Herbert the Pervert in the role. But I realize the show spares no one, and skewers all. That's why I love it.

container-grown carrots

2007-09-16T15:18:00.001-04:00

This spring, I received a free package of carrot seeds as a promotion from a mayonnaise company. I'm an apartment-dweller, and although I'm in a bit of an urban canyon, I have a western exposure and can usually rely on a couple of full-sun hours every day. I've had success in the past growing morning glories, petunias, geraniums, and hibiscus in containers. I had a deep clay pot that I wasn't using, so I planted the seeds in May.

The pot is 13" deep and 14½" in diameter at the top:

So the question is begged: can carrots be container-grown?

Answer: not on my balcony!

I probably didn't water them enough. Of the entire seed packet, I only had two plants make it. Containers are quick to dry out on a balcony -- particularly in an urban environment, with winds whipping around buildings.

Revel in my bountiful carrot harvest!

REVEL IN IT!

preposterous

2007-09-12T21:16:00.000-04:00

In Toronto -- a city that is often choked by smog -- there are motorized billboards trolling the streets. I saw one tonight on the way home from work. For a moment, I had to breathe its exhaust. In a world with limited petroleum resources -- and, arguably, a world whose survival is threatened by the continued burning of said resources -- using them to power a moving advertisement is the height of arrogance and environmental short-sightedness.

In fairness, the company that runs the billboard I saw tonight claims that some of its fleet is powered by biodiesel. They point out that biodiesel can be made from soybean oil, canola oil, or recycled cooking oil. What they don't mention is that biodiesel often contains regular diesel in a blended format. And I don't care if the truck I was behind tonight was burning 100% biodiesel or 20% biodiesel / 80% diesel... it still stank, it still needs petrochemicals for its lubrication/construction/distribution, and it still takes up valuable space on downtown streets. Until you can power a truck with rainbows and pixie dust, there will always be an environmental impact.

Save the biodiesel for public transportation.

second date rules

2007-09-06T08:05:00.000-04:00

when waiting for a guy to call, the frequency of trivial/annoying phonecalls from your mother increases
your apartment is never cleaner than when you are expecting a second date
"I would really like to see you again" translates into "I am going to ignore you for a week"
"maybe we could get together on Labour Day for coffee" means "you're a monster; fuck off and die"
it's all your fault for proactively following up with a phonecall on the tentative second date day
the gods will punish you for viewing the world through refreshed, "I have a second date" eyes
there is no such thing as a second date in your reality, so this list is shit

not everyone can blog from work

2007-08-28T21:31:00.001-04:00

http://atom.smasher.org

http://www.streetsigngenerator.com

internalized homophobia

2007-08-13T20:31:00.000-04:00

Last Monday, after I returned to Toronto from a long weekend at my parents' house, I flopped on the couch and watched some television. One of Ontario Travel's new ads came on -- a 60-second spot featuring Keshia Chanté.

Around 42 seconds into the spot, there is a fairly quick 3-shot sequence of some men meeting for gay pride celebrations.

That's when I blurted out "oh NO!" to no one in particular.

My blink reaction was negative. One of dismay and shame. Basically, homophobic.

Where the fuck did that come from? I wondered. I've been thinking about it ever since. I'm proud to live in Ontario, and even more proud that my province was one of the first jurisdictions in the world to uphold the rights of same-sex couples wishing to legally marry.

Was it my inner bitch speaking? ("Why did they have to portray young gay men?") Or was it a remnant of my weekend back in the closet, away from the city and the insular nature of my gay neighbourhood? Was it my mind processing the fact that my relationship with my parents is probably at its dysfunctional apex?

I was reminded of an anonymous comment on a post from last year about a gay guy I saw on the streetcar. The person who wrote "only emphasizes your own homophobia" really made me think. And now this. Do I have internalized homophobia, bubbling to the surface every now and then? Or am I just too easily annoyed by 20-something gay men in fauxhawks?

Swedish 3D puzzle

2007-08-09T23:01:00.001-04:00

I wrote in June that I know how to change a spare tire. Unfortunately, I didn't pay attention to the placement of the tools in the cargo area as I was removing them. After I changed the tire, I just pitched everything back in. A couple of weeks later -- after getting two new tires -- I had a chance to put everything back in its place.

I knew the compact spare went in a certain way, and was secured with a threaded disc. What I couldn't figure out was how to get the toolkit (jack, lug wrench, tow eye, etc. all packed in a neat polystyrene form) to fit. No matter how I tried laying it out, I couldn't get the cargo area floor access hatch to close.

Consulting the owner's manual was no help. It gave detailed instructions for the sedan, but not my model (the wagon).

I pulled up a lawn chair to the back of my car, sat down, and tinkered for an hour.

Finally, with my head on the bumper, peering into the cavern of my car's innards, I got it. The polystyrene toolkit literally fits into part of the rear bumper.

Here is an illustration of how to fit the toolkit -- along with the compact spare -- into the cargo area of a 2000 Saab 9-5 Wagon:

TOP VIEW

VIEW FROM INSIDE CARGO AREA, LOOKING OUT TOWARD BUMPER

sweet sweet road justice

2007-08-07T20:10:00.000-04:00

To the driver of the bile-green BMW who got a ticket from the O.P.P. on Monday, August 6, 2007 at approximately 2:50 p.m. -- you should know that I cheered when I saw you pulled over. I'm willing to bet that many other people did, too.

You see, when you drive like a total fucking asshole -- pulling out from behind me in the exit lane, accelerate dangerously in a lane you're not supposed to be in, deek back into the exit lane (relying on the ignorant goodwill of a fellow driver who didn't see your underhanded move), then speed recklessly onto the Gardiner Expressway, where you are stopped by the police -- the people whose lives you endanger are only too happy to see you get what's coming to you.

If I may further enlighten you, traffic was backed up because the ramp from the southbound 427 to the eastbound Gardiner Expressway was reduced to one lane. Did you not see the bright orange construction signs? How about the orange spray paint on the pavement? Then again, I'm willing to bet you knew that perfectly well. You just decided that your time was more valuable than everyone else's, and acted accordingly.

Either that, or you were about to shit your pants, just trying to get home. In which case, I hope you soiled yourself. Prick.

very easily amused

2007-08-01T23:27:00.000-04:00

My brother has an infinite ability to crack me up. It's especially pronounced when we're riding in a car -- probably the natural outcome of many long road vacations in our childhood.

EXAMPLE 1

"Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd is on his satellite radio. He's driving. Neither of us is speaking.

OK...
Just a little pinprick...
There'll be no more -- aaaaaahhh!
But you may feel a little sick.

And I'm doubled-over, laughing, because he chimes in with a loud, piercing falsetto at the "aaaaaahhh" part.

EXAMPLE 2

We're driving again, approaching a stop sign. The highway has rumble strips. As his truck wheels contact the rough surface, resonating with sound pairs (front and back tires) that are further and further apart (we're decelerating), he's adding his own sound effects:

mer mer
merr merr
murrr murrr

And I'm laughing again. Every time.

Clematis on Japanese Maple

2007-07-26T22:10:00.000-04:00

Outside my building last night, I noticed one of the clematis vines making a break for it -- creeping onto the branch of a nearby Japanese Maple. I made a note to go back in better light and get a picture for I always win.

I went to bed, but couldn't unwind. As 2 A.M. approached, I panicked and took a 'pam. I managed about four hours of sleep, and woke up before my alarm went off. I had some orange juice, and went outside with my digital camera to shoot the clematis. But the plant was in shadow. I took a series of flash and naturally-lit pictures, headed back up to my apartment, put on some coffee, and started to download the images. I had some technical problems, and before I knew it, it was after 7:30. I still had to shower, dress, drive to Sunnybrook for a blood test, then go to work. At the opposite end of the city. On four hours of sleep.

The day was full of frustrations like that. I don't normally drive to work, but on my blood test days, public transit takes too long. I spent more than an hour's wage on parking today, but that's the price of speed.

Driving home after work, I get caught in a traffic jam. Yonge Street is closed for some inexplicable reason. Pulling into my building, there's a car in my parking space. Security doesn't return my call.

My current favourite gardening show is Digging Deep. On a recent episode, the highly entertaining hosts touted the healing/serene qualities of Japanese Maple. And so, I dedicate this post to Pablo, who is arguably having a shittier time of it than I am right now. Here's the least-crappy picture I took this morning... 'cause sometimes, we just have to go with what we have.

P.S. - Pablo, you should know that two weeks ago, I was trying to decide between checking myself into a psych ward or going on vacation. I Googled nervous breakdown. I'll be thinking about you.

back

2007-07-23T07:38:00.000-04:00

I'm back from the island vacay
Sunburned my face but not my vajayjay
Don't want to go to work today

That was a little poem for you. Here is a picture I took Thursday night:

cottage-surfing

2007-07-16T22:05:00.000-04:00

I'm off work this week. Tomorrow, I'm going up to a coworker's cottage near Sudbury. It's the pink route on the map below. Pink, because it's going to be two gay guys and two lesbians. We're queering it up real nice in the 705.

I'm back on Friday evening.

Although I hadn't planned on it, I got a bonus trip to another cottage on Saturday the 14th (red route on map below). It was just an overnight, but it was great. I got to see a former blogger, play some Euchre, and have an eight year-old tell me that I "really don't have a lot of hair." LOLz. Out of the mouths of babes.

Toronto, of course, is circled in acid green -- representing a frequent state for our summertime air.

eight: not a good number of spokes

2007-07-12T20:59:00.000-04:00

Skitzzee Mitzzee tagged me yesterday. Eight random facts or habits about yourself. Fack. Thanks Mitz. Since I did a version of this meme in January (see six weird things about me k thx bai), I'm going to refer you to that post, and add two things to it:

I have a bad temper. I know, I'm a redhead. Total cliché. Today, I wanted to smash my radio when it played Daughtry. And as a pedestrian, I have been known to hit/kick cars that cut me off or nearly hit me.
when it comes to alloy wheels, I like five-spoke the best. I'm not partial to three-spoke or even numbers. Let me illustrate with a selection of pictures!

My Saab 9-5 has this type of wheel:

This is the 3-spoke that made me decide against the nicer, better-equipped Aero model (plus the fact that I wanted a V6 engine). There's too much open space, and my eye can't reconcile the three spokes and five bolts:

Here is a 6-spoke wheel... from a 9-7X (the SUV that Saab doesn't sell in Europe). It looks like a Trivial Pursuit gamepiece. On the plus side, it has six bolts:

Note how I didn't tag anyone... this post was just an excuse to talk about spokes. Oh, and if you looked at the January list, please note that I have a different schema for appreciating hubcaps.

The more you know...

2007-07-09T07:56:00.000-04:00

I saw Toni Collette on tv Friday night, performing at the Live Earth concert in Sydney Australia. I had no idea she could sing. Apparently, she has a band: Toni and the Finish.

Last night, I got more proof of her singing ability when a local station aired Connie and Carla. Not the best movie, but alright to have on in the background as I fold laundry. At least I learned something: the etymology of drag. (If Nia Vardalos is right, it's an acronym for "dressed resembling a girl" and originated in Shakespeare. I don't remember that from my Shakespearean English course at university, but then again, the professor was atrocious.)

It's never too late to expand your gay horizons. On Saturday, I had sex with a gay trucker. [Strikes item from list.] No, it wasn't in the sleeper cab.

I have been preoccupied with a new home computer. Thanks to my friend YJA, I now have a much faster, up-to-date machine. And thanks to my friends Marc and Jason, it's now set up and running smoothly.

This should mean more attentive/regular blogging!

I'll take it

2007-06-20T20:04:00.000-04:00

If all I get is one afternoon with you in a public place... cold bathroom tile followed by coffee and a chat about music...

I'll take it -- knowing that you're at home, with your boyfriend, as I write this.

I'll take it -- as I look at the naked picture you sent to me years ago (when you were single) and wonder why we never got together.

I'll take it -- even though in a few days (or hours), the thought of our encounter will probably send me into a tailspin of loneliness.

Which came first: the lowered expectations, or the tendency to process tiny scraps of intimacy as bliss?

want

2007-06-11T20:59:00.000-04:00

I've had a conceptualization lately of want as an electrical circuit: it's either open or closed. On or off. The phrase "I don't know what I want" strikes me as absurd. When you want (or don't want) something, you'll know it. Want is positive or negative, but not neutral.

"I don't know what I want for dinner" means you can't decide what to order from the menu. There's a big difference between indecision and want. I want the steak. I don't want the deep-fried parmesan [gag]. Don't say "I don't know what I want to order," but rather, "I can't decide what to order."

I tried explaining this to my brother a few weeks ago, and he asked if I had been smoking pot.

flustered

2007-06-06T23:41:00.000-04:00

One of my flaws is that I tend to drop the curve balls life throws at me. Then again, I was never good at sports.

"Karen, the gays don't catch." (Grace, in Will & Grace)

Yesterday was a long day for me. Up at 5:30 a.m. and out the door by 6:15 to pick up a coworker, then off to the airport area where we met a bus as part of an organized day trip for our job. The coworker is new, straight, and smokin' hot. I was looking forward to getting to know him. I find out he's of Lebanese descent, and I immediately start picturing this:

After a 380 km (round-trip) bus ride and the rest of the day's events, we were back to the meeting point just after 7 p.m. Walking through the parking lot, we see that my car has a flat tire. Not a big problem: there's air in the spare, and I've changed a few tires in my life. Coworker is new to the procedure, so he lends a hand and learns a few pointers from the gay guy. Still, I'm annoyed at the flat and I just want to get home.

We head back downtown on the freeway. I try and concentrate on driving, knowing that I have to watch my speed and movement with the compact spare. We talk during the drive, and when we're finally downtown, I miss the exit. The drive is lengthened by 15 minutes.

(I've studied famous airline crashes, and there's a scenario where flight crews start to make mistakes under pressure. The mistakes can snowball with disastrous consequences. On a much smaller scale, this is what was happening to me.)

Because of my exit fuck-up, I end up driving west into the evening sun. No problem: I put my sunglasses on. But I'm tired, and looking for an intersection. "Is that your street?" I ask. He replies "no, it's the next one, but you can drop me off anywhere along here." Wanting to please him, I say that I'll take him right to his building.

And that's when, for the first time in my life, I drove through a red light.

I saw the street sign, and knew that I had to go one more block. I just didn't notice that it was a signal-controlled intersection. "Dude, you just blew that red light," said my coworker. To my utter and complete horror.

I managed to get us both home without further moving violations.

I spent yesterday evening thinking of how lucky I was that I didn't get into an accident and injure/kill someone. Ashamed, I vowed to pay better attention to road fatigue. Today, I apologized for my stupidity (again) to my coworker. He was really understanding and didn't seem to be taking it as seriously as I was.

mea culpa

LOL! anthropomorphism!

2007-06-03T20:08:00.000-04:00

I know it's not Caturday, but I couldn't resist ducktoring up this cute image of a duckling chasing an insect.

The LOLcats phenomenon has wore down my historical opposition to intentional Internet misspelling. I have a daily belly-laugh at icanhascheezburger. Those crazy kids!

camping in NY state

2007-05-28T22:32:00.000-04:00

For the Victoria Day long weekend (May 19-21 2007), I went with my family on a camping/RV trip to Letchworth State Park. Yes, this was more than a week ago. And yes, I've only just now downloaded my digital photographs.

Letchworth simply blew us away. The gorge cut by the Genesee River is, in places, 600 feet deep. The river makes three amazing sets of waterfalls.

UPPER FALLS

LOWER FALLS

My pictures of the middle falls are on 35mm... still undeveloped. I hiked all the way up to the top of the canyon, right underneath the railway bridge (right side) in the first picture.

It was a good weekend. The weather wasn't too bad, and I got to try some delicious wine from the nearby Finger Lakes: Salmon Run Petit Noir and Coho Red.

omgTVomgomgOMG

2007-05-24T22:30:00.000-04:00

omg lastnight! Lost. I am freaking out. FutureJack is crazed -- kind of like Malcolm McDowell desperate to get back to the Nexus in Star Trek: Generations.

omg tonight! Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip returns! Six new episodes. I knew it would come back... I just knew it!

this post is like the mandatory sax solo in an eighties pop song

2007-05-16T21:03:00.000-04:00

Expected. De rigueur. Kickin'!

What do we do with our lives?
We leave only a mark
Will our story shine like a light
Or end in the dark?
Give it all or nothing!
doo doo doo doo doo doo doooo doooo...

Tina Turner, "We Don't Need Another Hero"

Don't you get sad and lonely
You need a change from what you do all day
Ain't no sense in all your crying
Just pick it up and throw it into shape

INXS, "What You Need"

Always slipping from my hands,
Sand's a time of its own
Take your seaside arms and write the next line
Oh I want the truth to be known
Huh huh huh hu-uh huh
I know this much is true
Huh huh huh hu-uh huh
I know this much is -- true

Spandau Ballet, "True"

Dusty words lying under carpets
Seldom heard, well, must you keep your secrets
Locked inside, hidden deep from view?
Do I seem all that hard? Is it all that tough?
Now I've shown you all my cards, well isn't that enough?
You can hide your hurt
But there's something you can do
You can talk to me
You can talk to me -- when you're down, now
You can talk to me
T-t-talk to me

Stevie Nicks, "Talk To Me"

layer

2007-05-11T20:11:00.000-04:00

I walked home from work this evening. My usual route takes me close to Massey Hall and the Elgin and Winter Garden Theatres.* The paint on the south side of the theatre is peeling off, and it's revealing the brickwork in a way that I find very pleasing. Tonight, the reflected sunlight from a nearby building added an extra layer of interest. Standing on Victoria Street, I took this picture:

There it was: through the streetcar wires, dappled in light... a pattern on top of a pattern that made my grumpy mood disappear.

* thanks to Salem for the geographical/architectural correction

Forsythia

2007-05-03T21:45:00.000-04:00

I took time to ~~smell~~ photograph the flowers this morning after my medical appointment. Forsythia gives us a jolt of electric yellow just when we really need it. It's in the same family as jasmine and lilac. Guess what else is in the same family? Olives.

location: between Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre and the Vaughan Estate

It's the dirtiest clean I know

2007-05-01T07:35:00.000-04:00

I'm heading to HMV after work to buy the new albums by Tori Amos and Feist. Well... definitely Tori, and probably Feist. I'm still getting acquainted with her music. I liked the cool seventies groove of "Inside and Out" after I heard it a few times. (Note to Salem: I didn't know she was part of BSS. I still have no idea who they are, but at least I'm one step closer now.)

What might clinch the purchase is how much I love My Moon My Man. I love men, I love men's moons, and I love the foot-tapping tempo of the track. How can I lose?

mobius

2007-04-19T22:32:00.000-04:00

What does one do upon realizing one has ostensibly wasted the last 11½ years of one's life?

from Cause and Effect, Star Trek: TNG, season 5

STFU! It's Madame Rouge

2007-04-09T19:06:00.000-04:00

Like OMG. I wish I could blame my absence on FaceTube. But I haven't had any of that Kool-Aid, thank you very much. Nor will I succumb.

I would like to address the issue of empire waist dresses. If you are a woman, and you are wearing a dress with an empire waist, I am going to assume that you are with child. They are butt-ugly and unflattering, and should not be worn unless you're pregnant. Do you hear that, Stacy London?

That is all.

he's not fat--he's just right!

2007-03-19T21:10:00.000-04:00

Sorry... I don't have very much time... I'm voting for Joey Fatone after seeing him in Dancing With the Stars. I'm allowed 11 calls from my telephone line. [giggles] This is so unlike me!

He's so loveable. Smack that! AW YEAH! 6'1" of pure WOOF. Plus... a great sense of humour, killer smile, gorgeous hair, self-effacing... It's high time I go public with my crush on Joey. He's number nine on my Top Ten List.

(I'm in need of a cuddle.)

You are coming to a sad realization. Cancel or allow?

2007-03-13T20:17:00.000-04:00

I didn't clog for two weeks. Pablo asked "where do you go when you go away?" I didn't go anywhere, but I got a fuckload of stuff done:

I really focused on work, and finally got on top of things
exercise (swimming & walking)
buttsecks
established a healthy sleep pattern
uninstalled a hog of a computer security program (rhymes with "Florton") and replaced with a better program... thus preventing me from throwing my computer off the bacony in a fit of frustration
saw The Lives of Others. God, I miss Berlin.
kept up with household crap like cleaning, dishes, and laundry
applied for a new job

If I had done all of this stuff plus clogging... well, I couldn't. My sleep would have suffered. And I don't function when I'm sleep-deprived.

I have missed the clog camaraderie; sadly, in order to achieve some very pressing goals (new job, weight reduction), something must be extracted from the schedule.

I haven't quit the clog. Yet.

blue and green

2007-02-23T07:55:00.000-05:00

My favourite colour is green--all shades and hues. I like blue as well, and I find the combination can be calming and beautiful. It probably stems from my childhood, and all the time spent gazing at green forests, blue lakes, and blue sky. My aunt's house had one of those funky room dividers made of hanging strings of beads, and they were blue and green. My mother didn't care for it. "Blue and green should never be seen," she said.

No wonder I gravitated toward Martha Stewart as an adult. She made it o.k. to decorate with blue and green. And to match paint to the eggshells of your rare chickens.

French blue

2007-02-20T23:09:00.000-05:00

I first fell in love with French blue in 1998 when I bought a suit at Holt Renfrew. Unfortunately, it did not come with two sets of pants, and eventually, the jacket became an orphan in my closet.

I went shopping after work today and found a pair of blue dress pants. I just had a feeling the not-quite-navy pants would match my suit jacket from "Holts." They were on sale, so I bought them. When I got home, I discovered they coordinate perfectly. And I was reminded of my affinity for French blue.

Inspired by a tea towel I found at IKEA, I punched up my apartment's cream-coloured 1950s kitchen with French and royal blue a few years ago. Two of the towels are folded and leaning against the bowls in the picture to the left.

As you can see from the last picture, I wasn't kidding about my "thing" for the Oregon license plate. And check out the old milk door!

I have a heart on for you

2007-02-14T08:32:00.000-05:00

dating report card for January

2007-02-12T07:36:00.000-05:00

I didn't talk about it very much, for fear of offending the gay dating gods. I used phrases like "hung out" with my close friends; I told no one at work.

It didn't matter. It got jinxed anyway.

I met a cute guy in January and we went out twice. Yes, it originated on a gay hook-up site. No, I did not sleep with him. Yes, he is younger (nine years).

Things to be grateful for: he exposed me to the insane brilliance of Robot Chicken. He didn't leave me hanging like the last guy; rather, he did let me know what was going on (eventually).

What was going on? He had started to "see someone." I know this might sound very boil-your-pet-rabbit, but dude... I thought that's what we were kind of starting to do.

Oh well. Final report: 100% increase in dates over last time! (October 2006, one date. January 2007, two dates.) Progress, not perfection!

wear your long johns

2007-02-09T08:24:00.000-05:00

It's cold outside! But if you dress appropriately, it's not so bad. In this picture, Colton Ford demonstrates the benefits of thermal underwear.

she loaded her babies on that Eastern Air Lines jet and LEFT HIS ASS!

2007-02-08T07:14:00.000-05:00

Tonight, I'm having two girlfriends over to watch Heartburn. They'll be seeing it for the first time. I, on the other hand, have seen it so many times I have themed snacks planned: something approximating mashed potatoes (for the sequence where a depressed Rachel eats them right out of the pot), and key lime pie (which Mark gets in the face near the end).

I first suggested screening it when we got together for lunch last fall. Girlfriend A had her man pull a Billy Crudup on her, bailing on the marriage while she was expecting. Girlfriend B just knows I'm nuts about Meryl Streep.

I'm so excited, I made a Heartburn collage for y'all:

homesick

2007-02-06T22:52:00.000-05:00

In the past few days, three things made me miss home:

watching Fargo on Friday night. Minnesota was my border state growing up.
helping my brother pull vehicles out of the snowbank on Saturday night. We were on a back road in Grey County, and there were severe snow squalls. My brother was very popular with his 4WD truck, cell phone, and towing knowledge. I was in charge of equipment (tow strap, shovel) and stopping traffic with a flashlight. Helping your fellow motorist is a very northern thing to do. So is knowing how to drive in snowy conditions.
at one point yesterday, Toronto's weather was -11°C with 95% relative humidity. I miss the aridity of northwestern Ontario--winter and summer. There's a reason people from western Canada say "it's a dry cold."

OMG yummerz

2007-01-31T08:22:00.000-05:00

Miss Thistle and another friend saw the JT/Pink concert lastnight. Yes, I am jealous! Pink is a badass and I like her for it. Justin Timberlake... well let's just say that I think this is one of his best assets:

Oh, and I like a lot of his songs, too. And I don't care who knows!

Lastnight, I saw Little Children with Peter, Marc, and Jason. It was a real treat to watch such a long movie with so many scenes of Patrick Wilson's face, smile, eyes, teeth, chest, arms, abs, legs, and ass.

Oh, that ass...

(Detecting a theme, anyone?)

I'm afraid of becoming "Ba"

2007-01-29T08:04:00.000-05:00

"I'm one bad date away from being bitter." - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

Oh, I've already passed that milestone, I can assure you.

What I'm scared of is sliding into the territory covered by Dame Judi Dench's character Barbara ("Ba") in Notes on a Scandal, which I saw over the weekend. (Fantastic, by the way.) Barbara is bitter, fed-up, and frustrated. She sees an opportunity to take advantage of a naïve new coworker, and uses it to her full advantage.

I'm a good person. I don't enjoy hurting others, and strive to do quite the opposite. But on the eve of my 37th birthday--and after six and a half years of being single--I worry about the effects of prolonged disappointment and solitude.

In the movie, Barbara reads from her journal: "People like Sheba [Cate Blanchett's character] have no idea what it's like to construct an entire weekend around a trip to the laundrette."

Are people like Barbara forged as cruel users in childhood? Were they pulling the wings off flies and playing baseball with frogs? Or, can they be changed that way in adulthood?

OMG LOLerz i m SUCH a mess

2007-01-26T00:06:00.000-05:00

I found another book in the laundry room of my apartment building this week. What can I say? I saw "Betty White" and was immediately drawn to it.

However, I promptly got all verklempt when I read the jacket. The book is about Tom Sullivan's guide dog, Dinah. When she got too old to do her job, Betty White adopted her.

...when Dinah reached the age of eleven, she began to lose her edge. Her eyes were no longer as sharp, her step not as sure. The once-assured guide dog became defensive and hesitant. Although Tom hated the idea of working with any dog but Dinah, it seemed to be his only choice, and [a new guide dog] joined the family. Dinah, however, was not ready to settle back into a life of leisure [...] while an interloper took over her job and her master. She stopped eating, began hiding away, and simply gave up on life. Yet Dinah's story has a whole new beginning... and her name is Betty White.

Oh, believe me, I was nearly in tears when I read the final part:

Here [...] is how Betty rescued this gallant lady in distress and how caring, courageous Dinah became a full-fledged member of Betty's family overnight, with a brand-new job to do. Most of all, here is the essence of Dinah, a dog who made a positive difference in every life she touched.

I wish I had time to read this book. I wish I had enough money to quit my job and start an assistance dog foundation. I wish that everyone in the world was as nice to animals as Betty White.

this is my reward

2007-01-24T08:22:00.000-05:00

I wasted a couple of hours last night trying to update clog. Here's what I got:

This is what I get for trying.

I didn't see a notice about any scheduled outage. Perhaps Blogger can let us know when the system is available. Then, we can just assume that it's down the rest of the time.

Even Haloscan was being shitty last night. I tried 5x to leave a comment chez Butch.

six weird things about me

2007-01-12T00:05:00.000-05:00

Last month, Riss tagged me with a meme. Yes, I'm just getting to it now. You may find it hard to believe, but it took a while for me to put together a list of six weird things about me.

When I'm making a sandwich, the mustard cannot touch the cheese.

I'm 6'4" but unless I hit my head on something, I usually go through the day not realizing how tall I am. I also "get the picture" when I see tall actors (like Tom Selleck, Vince Vaughn, or John Corbett) on television or in a movie dwarfing the people they're next to.

I am terrified of submerged objects. The idea of a reef or a shoal is really scary to me. I grew up around water and know my way around a boat... perhaps it's a healthy fear.

I find it extremely difficult to fall asleep without white noise (fan, air conditioner, etc.) and three pillows. (I'm a side-sleeper: one pillow goes under my head; the second underneath whatever arm is the upper arm; the third goes between my knees.)

I am strangely drawn to the Oregon license plate. I have one on my kitchen wall.

I have been fascinated by car wheels--and in particular, hubcaps--since I was a child. In my mind, the coolest hubcaps ever are from the 1965 Ford Galaxie.

Alright. Now it's Peter's turn. He hasn't blogged in over a week.

twenty-five

2007-01-10T08:46:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday to Steven at Human Nature. Steven was freaking out a bit earlier this week at the prospect of turning twenty-five. It's a milestone birthday, no doubt. Quarter-century. Twenties half over. I must have been thinking these things when I turned 25, because I:

went out with Peter and Jason, and drank too much
had a lap dance at Remington's
later on the dance floor at Club Colby's, made everyone smell my finger (it was stripper perineum, not ass... I swear to God)
wound up at the tubs, where there was a big lineup (for rooms and lockers)
started talking to the guy beside me, who asked what I had done that Monday night
found out it was his birthday, too
asked him if he wanted to get out of line and go back to my place
back at my apartment, I actually carded him to see if he shared my birthday (which he did)
blew him in front of my kitchen sink, then sent him home
went to class the next day with a massive hangover

Do it up in style, Steven. You young pup, you.

Santa might suspect I'm gay

2007-01-07T23:27:00.000-05:00

Last year, it was decorative push pins:

This home organizer was in my stocking on Christmas eve 2006. It's very flowery.

Who plays Santa during Christmas? No, it's not Peter. It's my mother. And another year has gone by without a long-overdue discussion.

Is praying for death an option? How about a coma?

Etobicoke Hydro

2007-01-04T08:12:00.000-05:00

There are communal libraries in the laundry rooms of my apartment complex. (Some of Peter's gag gifts and books have ended up there--but they never last long!) A couple of weeks ago, I pulled a copy of Valley of the Dolls from the shelf and found something neat tucked inside: a mailer from Etobicoke Hydro.

From the font, I thought it might date back to the 1950s.

Some web searching revealed that the mayor listed on the card served from 1967 to 1972. It's not as old as I thought.

Business Reply Mail was 8 cents, and there's no postal code.

Etobicoke was one of six former boroughs of the Municipality of Metropolitan Toronto. Etobicoke Hydro later became part of Toronto Hydro, and Metropolitan Toronto was amalgamated into the City of Toronto in 1998.

I watch Discovery Channel too much

2007-01-02T07:19:00.000-05:00

...because I'm crushin' on Tory Belleci from Mythbusters and Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs. Tory is smart and funny. His smile kills me.

Mike Rowe... manly, strappin', and one helluva sexy voice.

Yeah, I watched me some television on Saturday. And lastnight, I watched Super Size Me on CBC. I had always wanted to see it, but knowing that Morgan Spurlock spews in it made me want to make sure I had control of the volume. (I always mute barf scenes, and usually look away from the television.)

It's funny: despite having seen Spurlock and Rowe projectile vomit on the small screen, I still find them eminently attractive.

Carrie Fisher is awesome

2006-12-28T22:13:00.000-05:00

I'm back from my Christmas holiday. It's amazing what you can get done when you're not glued to a computer... I finally finished reading the October issue of Vanity Fair, and started November.

(Yes, I'm that behind in my VF subscription. I'm also carrying some extra weight. Goddamned BLOGGING.)

Imagine my delight when I turned to George Wayne's Q&A with Carrie Fisher. Fisher refers to her home as "Kennecuntport." And when Wayne asks her how she ended up in Star Wars, she responds, "I slept with some nerd. I hope it was George [Lucas]."

I absolutely love her.

rouge-alicious def

2006-12-19T23:11:00.001-05:00

This post is inspired by YJA's nasty comment from the other day. (He said that I should pretty myself up a bit if I want to meet a nice guy.) I decided to take his negative energy and turn it into something cheerful and life-affirming.

(Backgrounder: YJA and I have a long history of hurling insults at each other. Well, it's more of a one-way thing. But there's lots of lurve there--don't misunderstand me.)

YJA likes to poke fun at how I dress. Admittedly, there are times I can be stuck in the '90s. This is primarily due to my love of plaid. And yes, I did wear a plaid shirt to the Christmas party I mentioned in Sunday's post.

But here's the thing: plaid's back. Just ask Fergie... check out her awesome plaid dress in the video for "Fergalicious". I'm bringin' tartan back!

stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream

2006-12-17T22:12:00.000-05:00

Thursday night I dreamed I was having a hot and heavy affair with Colton Ford. It wasn't so much a sexually detailed dream as it was emotionally intense. Colton was already in a relationship in my dream. We were cheating. Plus, he was a guest where I work, which can so get me fired in real life.

The theme of unavailable men continued on Saturday night at a Christmas party in Cabbagetown. A few weeks ago, the host told me about a hot twentysomething that he thought would be perfect for me. And I met him at the party. Hot, most definitely.

But my friend left out a crucial detail: the partner of several years.

Another party guest was a seriously tall & cute guy I met last winter. Partnered, according to reports. Well, after six drinks, I found a moment to tell the tall guy how attractive he was, and to ask if he was still in a relationship. He replied that he was. Tall guy was exceptionally gracious and kind about the whole thing--and spent quite a bit of the remaining night chatting with me.

I wanted to shout at him: "why couldn't I have met you first?"

This is not an easy time of year to be single.

tugboat

2006-12-13T00:02:00.000-05:00

Last week, some coworkers and I went out for lunch in The Toronto Star building. Its cafeteria features a view of Toronto Harbour, and I enjoy looking out the large windows. I get to see the planes coming in for a landing at Toronto City Centre Airport. And there's always the hope that I'll spot some ducks on the walk there.

On this occasion, I watched a tugboat pulling an enormous crane barge west from the port lands. Immediately, I flashed back to one of my favourite books as a child: Tuggy the Tugboat by Jean Horton Berg.

I hadn't thought of the book in a long, long time. I'm going to try and dig it out of storage at my parents' house over Christmas. From what I can remember, the imagery was dark (a storm or inclement weather was involved) but not scary. The city setting (presumably New York) looked enormous to this small boy from the wilderness of northwestern Ontario. And although I grew up around water and boats, the might of a tugboat certainly impressed me.

There are times when my inner child comes back from the dead...

weekend recap

2006-12-11T07:39:00.000-05:00

on Friday night, I watched Mean Girls on TBS. I'm starting to think that Lindsay Lohan is actually talented.
on Saturday, there was a big Christmas party at Jason's. His room-mate is a really good cook, and the food was incredible. A few of us were recruited to be on the decorating/prep committee, so I poured my first drink at 4 p.m. (four hours ahead of the party's official start time). Mistake!
I owe Salem $10. I'm giving you a blog IOU, dude.
I was hurting on Sunday, but I had another Christmas party to go to... this one given by a neighbour in the afternoon. I stuck to Perrier, and one glass of champagne.
at the party, I discussed my lack of need for a cellular telephone. Around that time, my brother was repeatedly calling my apartment to get my assistance, as my sister-in-law was in the city with a flat tire. Sorry. At least now you know how to perform this vital automotive skill. It's better you learn it in the Park'N'Fly lot than on the side of a freeway in a storm. At night.
on lastnight's American Dad, the headline in the Langley Falls Post read, "New York City bans trans fats; Fat trannies still allowed"

Josh Stamberg

2006-12-08T00:29:00.000-05:00

~~Meat~~ Meet the eighth entry in my Top Ten List.

APPRECIATE HIM!

Here's Josh Stamberg as "Sarge," the paintballer who had a threeway with Keith and David in the third season of Six Feet Under. He played a no-nonsense, no-drama gay guy who oozed sex and a comfortable, natural masculinity that had me, um, standing at attention.

On Monday's episode of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, he guest starred as a movie producer who offers Harriet a major role--and states that he wants to date her. I hope this is a long story arc, because I can't get enough of this man. Josh... you're hot! Please, update your IMDB page with some photos and your role on S60!

(While you're at it, joshstamberg.com needs work.)

previous entries

Eric Bana
Chris Evans
Colton Ford
Troy Garity
Christopher Meloni
Adrian Pasdar
Paul Rudd

poop in the lake

2006-12-06T00:04:00.000-05:00

I've fretted previously about waste water entering the Great Lakes. Last week, the Sierra Legal Defence Fund released a major study on the amount of raw sewage being dumped into the Great Lakes. It's a disgusting problem, and we are right to be concerned about what's going on upstream from us here in Toronto. We should also be ashamed of ourselves, as a city, for letting our own problems with untreated sewage discharges persist for so long.

In the Great Lakes Sewage Report Card, cities in the region are graded according to the amount of raw sewage that enters the watershed. Most typically, problems occur when rainfall overwhelms the sewage treatment system. Detroit, Cleveland, Windsor, and Toronto are the biggest offenders. (Buffalo and Toledo refused to provide the study with data; Chicago gets a good grade, but its waste water is diverted into the Mississippi watershed.)

Yesterday, when I visited my ducks (who are doing just fine, by the way), the water clarity of last week was replaced by turbidity--a sign of the recent rains.

I think the only creatures who should be allowed to poop in the lake are the ones that were here before humans came and fucked everything up.

shipoopi

2006-12-04T08:10:00.000-05:00

Lastnight's episode of Family Guy was a repeat, but it was a classic. There's a lot of gratuitous violence in Patriot Games, and a brilliant scene where Lois drills a hole through the wall so she can spy on Tom Brady having a shower. Best of all is this musical number that Peter breaks into during a New England Patriots game:

I laughed until I cried.

I love ducks

2006-11-29T00:02:00.000-05:00

Although I work in a depressing windowless office, the building is right on the shore of Lake Ontario. So when I need cheering up, I head out, get a coffee, and sit by the water for a few minutes. This is what I did on Monday afternoon. The weather was balmy, and the lake was calm.

I watched a large group of Long-tailed ducks in the harbour. I don't see this species much, because they're on the lake in the colder months of the year.

A few of them were making their way toward the pier. They dove underwater, so I quietly approached the pier's edge. Standing still, I watched the bubble trails get closer. They surfaced right in front of me. Absolutely beautiful birds: white and dark brown, with long slender tail feathers. We studied each other for a few seconds, and then they dove back down into the water.

I felt my spirit recharged as I tracked their underwater progress... graceful, purposed... to a depth of several feet. (The effect of the zebra mussel infestation is astounding.)

I turned back north, looked at the gleaming downtown skyline, and returned to work.

In researching and writing this post, I learned that the ducks were probably feeding on the zebra mussels. Anything solid, stationary, and underwater in Lake Ontario is usually covered with them. I just hope the mussels didn't make the ducks sick with botulism.

further information:

Clangula hyemalis
zebra mussels
article about zebra and quagga mussels in Saturday's Globe and Mail
overview of invasive species in the Great Lakes

back from Indy road trip

2006-11-27T07:46:00.000-05:00

On Friday, I went on a trip to Indianapolis with Salem, Jason, and YJA. We got back last night. It was a fun trip. Some highlights:

I forgot to print off a list of kph/mph conversions (my car's speedometer is in metric only), and I'm glad I didn't get the chance to try that explanation out with a state trooper in MI-OH-IN on Friday (IN-MI on Sunday).

YJA purchased a portable DVD player for the journey, so he only tormented us occasionally. He looked so cute there in the back seat with his videos.

YJA sounds like a little kid when he asks "are we there yet?" repeatedly

Salem is an ace navigator

I have no voice left after two nights of partying in Indianapolis. I got a little too drunk on Friday night.

Tim's premonition came true, because I wound up in the "scary" bar. My recollection of this is partial at best.

We need to come up with a system to remind Jason that he checked his jacket... some sort of clicker or perimeter alarm that prevents him from leaving without it.

I met so many wonderful people on the weekend, including several bloggers: Timmy and Indygirl (the birthday celebrants), Pablo, Leslie, a frog girl of some sort (I met her after several drinks), and Butchie ... Thanks to everyone for showing us such a good time. We hope you can make it to Toronto some day...

Seven of Ten, tertiary adjunct of Unimatrix Incredibly Effing HOT

2006-11-20T00:42:00.000-05:00

I first laid eyes on the tall, dark, and handsome Troy Garity during the telecast of the 2004 Golden Globe Awards. He was nominated for his role in Soldier's Girl, which I finally saw over the weekend. And he's the seventh man on my Top Ten List.

Garity's performance is believable, powerful, and moving. I'm looking forward to seeing more of him on screen.

APPRECIATE HIM!

previous entries

Eric Bana
Chris Evans
Colton Ford
Christopher Meloni
Adrian Pasdar
Paul Rudd

these characters are real to me

2006-11-15T22:28:00.000-05:00

(The title of this post is an inside joke that I share with Peter. At least, I think it is...)

In August 2001, I had a relationship end suddenly. Luckily, the cable provider for my apartment complex was running a free trial of a movie network (read: low-budget HBO equivalent), so I didn't have to find all of my comfort in ice cream and anonymous sex. That's when I started watching Six Feet Under.

From the outset, I was hooked. The show took me away to Los Angeles, and I got swept up in the lives of the Fisher family. Eventually, the series was picked up on the Showcase channel in Canada, but it was always very far behind HBO's broadcast. I was content to wait--the show was worth it.

So that's why I'm just now watching the final season. I've resisted the urge to go on a renting spree at the video store, limiting myself to any episodes I missed from Showcase.

Even after five seasons, and even if I'm watching the show on tape or DVD, I still watch the stunningly beautiful opening credits. The music, the font... I just love it.

So, please excuse me for my absence the last few days. There has been a death in my television family.

Only two episodes left...

hello, Mr. Meloni

2006-11-10T08:15:00.000-05:00

You're the sixth entry on my Top Ten List.

Christopher Meloni does it all: drama, comedy, full-frontal... the man has guts and talent. And he's so damned hunky!

APPRECIATE HIM!

previous entries

Eric Bana
Chris Evans
Colton Ford
Adrian Pasdar
Paul Rudd

favicon

2006-11-09T07:15:00.000-05:00

I made a new favicon for my blog. Depending on your browser, you might see it in the address bar. I realized it turned out rather small, so here it is:

(I think it reflects the spirit of I Always Win. Some people might think it's excessively negative. I'm just trying to make people laugh. That is, after all, one of the reasons I started this blog.)

From what I've read, in order for the image to be supported in IE, I'd have to convert the .gif to a .ico file--not exactly easy, since none of my computer's three imaging programs can do that. But I am quite proud of myself for figuring out how to make it and stick it in the html of my template.

I'm going to try and come up with something that will display a bit better in the confines of the address bar.

continuity/intimacy

2006-11-07T07:33:00.000-05:00

Let me put on my hack blogger hat for a moment. There was a major continuity problem in lastnight's episode of Studio 60. In "Nevada Day Part I" several members of the show and the network fly on the company jet to Nevada. The exterior shot is (I think) a Falcon business jet... a beautiful small plane. The interior shots don't match--the width of the cabin suggests a much larger commercial passenger airliner.

Poor set choice, people. Awesome episode otherwise!

__________________________________________________________

On yesterday's post about my AWOL weekend date, St. Dickeybird commented, " How can you be fending for yourself on a Saturday?" and listed some popular avenues of hook-up, including the Internet.

I think the Internet is part of the problem. When I look back at my experience, the most common result of meeting someone on the Internet is a quick fuck. I don't usually find fault with that, but when someone comes along with "BF Material" stamped on their forehead, can I be blamed for thinking about a second date? Perhaps. Silly faggot... tricks are for dick!

I know others have landed relationships from the web, but any of my past relationships originated in the non-cyber here-and-now.

Maybe I'm not built for the Internet. I can be a bit shy in person--so meeting someone online gives me courage. And although I don't think that I have intimacy issues, I think the online dating/hook-up world attracts more than its fair share of people who do.

And I usually end up meeting them.

I had a great weekend... found a subway token in the washer...

2006-11-06T00:28:00.000-05:00

Yay! Free ride to work. Except that I can't be sure it didn't come from the pockets of the clothes I was laundering.

Is my glass half full, half empty, or destined to be the glass at a Jewish wedding ceremony? I dunno...

I got stood up for a second time by The Beautiful Boy. We were supposed to see a movie on Saturday. I think he must have wound up in an emergency room somewhere, without access to a telephone. Perhaps he was abducted by aliens. All I know is that I was left to fend for myself on Saturday, which meant that I channelled all of my waiting-by-the-phone angst into cleaning.

(He called me out of the blue a week ago, apologizing for bailing on our second date. He offered up a pretty good explanation, and said he'd really like to see me again. He wanted us to get to know each other better, and I agreed to that. He suggested a movie.)

Invertebrates learn faster than I do. Seriously.

__________________________________________________________

I literally laughed my ass off watching Sunday's episode of American Dad. In Lincoln Lover, Stan learns yet another life lesson: this one about the gays. He joins the Log Cabin Republicans. Some of the high points:

- the Langley LCR chapter throws an impromptu party featuring a new cocktail. The drink inspires Roger to ask, "what's in it, and how can I replace all of my blood with it?"

- during the party, a musical number breaks out (as it so often does with us gays). A sample lyric: "we like packing fudge... and heat!" (visual: a box of fudge, with a gun laid on top)

- it's revealed that Stan's gay neighbours drive Saabs--one with a "PITCHER" vanity plate; the other with "CATCHER"

Five. Ford. Friday.

2006-11-03T07:13:00.000-05:00

What is it about Friday that makes my mind drift to hunky men? I seem to remember "beefcake Friday" over at Republic of Dogs. Auntie and Thistle have their " who'd ya do?" (although that's sometimes about choosing between the devil and the deep blue sea).

Entry number five on my Top Ten List is Colton Ford.

APPRECIATE HIM!

One of these days I'll pick up Naked Fame at the store and learn more about his foray into the music business. I'll be honest, though: he first grabbed my attention as an adult film star, and that's where he'll always have a place in my, um, heart. Woof!

Previous entries on my list are linked here.

- note to tehl4m3: careful, you're still on watch
- note to Timmy: your e-mail appears to be broken. (I tried!)

please for not to be cancelling my Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

2006-11-01T06:33:00.000-05:00

Hello? NBC? Yes, thank you. I am a crank. I once wrote a letter to ABC asking them not to cancel Twin Peaks. I like quirky, intelligent television, and I thank you for doing an Internet search and finding this blog post. Since The West Wing ended, I have been in a Severe Sorkin Shortage. And yes, I also loved Sports Night.

__________________________________________________________

There are so many reasons to love Studio 60. Amanda Peet's smart-as-hell character, Jordan McDeere. Sarah Paulson, who played the lovely lipstick lesbian in The Other Sister. The way the show gives me hope that America's current religious tensions won't end up mushrooming into, well, a mushroom cloud.

I love it the most, though, for its skewering of bloggers in the second episode:

[a blogger has written about the firing of Tom's boss]
Tom Jeter: The New York Times is going to quote [that blogger] so that the people can be heard, and the Times can demonstrate they're not the 'media elite.' I preferred it when they were elite--I'm a fan of credentials. It's like we've all spent the last five years living a Roger Corman film called Revenge of the Hack.

__________________________________________________________

So, NBC, if you could listen to just this last blogging hack and let my show live, I would be ever so grateful. Why listen to me, you ask? I'm the life-long network television viewer who, disgusted with Survivor-esque reality programming, spent the last 6.5 years renting HBO series from the local video store. Oh, and I also did a lot of reading.

life traps

2006-10-30T07:52:00.000-05:00

Not a bad weekend. Got caught up on my sleep, which had been suffering in the last couple of weeks. Got some domestic crap done.

I tried to get back into the self-help book I'm currently reading, Reinventing Your Life. I abandoned it earlier this year when I came to the part that instructed me to write a letter (in my dominant hand) to my wounded inner child, and let my inner child answer back in my non-dominant hand.

Seriously.

I'm finding that to be a bit of a road block. My shrink told me to skip it. I'm inclined to agree, because I think the book's foundations in cognitive therapy are good.

In a future post, I'll describe what life traps the book says I've fallen into!