I always win

The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission , in an 'effort' to help Canadians avoid unwanted telephone calls from telemarketers, created the National Do Not Call List last year. I am so glad I didn't sign up. Global News is reporting a major flaw with the list: it is ridiculously easy to pretend to be a compliant telemarketer, pay $50, obtain the list, and start bombarding people on the list with calls. What a fucking joke. I've been pissed at the CRTC ever since the early 1980s, when my isolated northwestern Ontario town finally received two extra tv channels from a private company. Granted, the service was outside the law, but when you're a kid and you only get one tv station , you don't care about legality. You're forever scarred because all the cool shows you were watching on WGN Chicago and a major movie network are yanked away from you... and you're back to Three's Company reruns on CBC . Seriously, are monkeys...

Here are the worst offenders: "Photograph" - Nickelback (I don't get it. Americans lap this shit up. In Canada, we hear it on radio because it's the fucking law .) "Santa Monica" - Theory Of A Deadman "On My Own" - Hedley "When The Night Feels My Song" - Bedouin Soundclash (sucks SO hard) "Bad Day" - Daniel Powter (AAAAUGH! Someone make it stop! Shake a jar of pennies at it!) "Run" - Rex Goudie (does the term "fucktard" mean anything to you?) "Single" - Kalan Porter ( Canadian Idol needs to go away. Now.) "Old Skool Love" - Divine Brown (Great. Not only are we recognizing stolen melodies, but also poor spelling.) previous rants about the machine of Canadian musical mediocrity: Bed-o-win Sound-torture I'm not the only one... I'm not alone: craptastic.com "I want to destroy Nickelback" - Kickass!

...who wonders why The Tea Party had the career and exposure it did in Canada, or who isn't lamenting their breakup. This Canadian band wouldn't have been lame if it had just billed itself what it was: a tribute band to The Doors . Who does Jeff Martin think he was kidding? This was from an online poll yesterday. NB - I am not a completely merciless critic of Canadian music--despite my post from Friday, October 7, 2005 . I'm just not afraid to voice my opinion of which Canadian acts, sheltered by CanCon regulations , suck ass.

I don't know about y'all, but if I hear "When the Night Feels My Song" by Bedouin Soundclash one more time , I'm going to lose it. Seriously, I want Coca-Cola bottles to fall from the sky (a la The Gods Must be Crazy ) and hit them all on the head. Other songs that drive me meshugena: anything by Maroon 5 "Pon de Replay" by Rihanna "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter anything by Simple Plan, Amanda Marshall, Nickelback/Chad Kroeger, or other lame Canadian acts that wouldn't be "acts" without Canadian content regulations