Monday, November 07, 2005

separated at birth?

I have often thought that CNN's Jack Cafferty and Sam the Eagle from The Muppet Show were very similar. Senior, learned voices struggling to be heard in a din of youthful boisterousness. The types who would be most apt to remind us that having no knowledge of the past dooms us to repeat it. Clucking their tongues in disapproval. My heroes!

In James Wolcott's column "Flooding the Spin Zone" (Vanity Fair, November 2005), Jack Cafferty is given the props he so justly deserves. Analyzing the coverage of hurricane Katrina, Wolcott examines CNN's new program The Situation Room and my Jack, writing that Cafferty's "ire showered the mediascape with volcanic ash." Jack'll call the world on its bullshit, that much is for sure. Wolcott continues his dissection of Cafferty and in particular his pairing with Wolf Blitzer ("inspired casting") by writing that "Blitzer maintains a lack of affect whatever Cafferty's provocations, blinking at plausible intervals as Cafferty drives the argument downfield with an eloquence to match his ferocity." (emphasis mine)

I love Jack Cafferty. In my fantasy world, he'd grow to be hundreds of feet tall and, with his giant foot, squish Bill O'Reilly like a bug.


Crucible said...

My favourite is James Earl Jones: "This is CNN".

Jason said...

You're Jack Cafferty after he pulled his hit and run on a guy in NYC.

madamerouge said...

from Newsday: Cafferty had no comment [...] but the criminal complaint said Cafferty told police he saw the bicyclist get off the ground but didn't realize he had hit him. "I am unaware I was in an accident," he said.

Jason, he didn't get bin-knowers. He got un-aware-erz.

your judgemental aunt said...

There's another muppet that me of someone...

A Mme. Rouge Doppleganger?

I think yes!

Jason said...

I love it.

Carrie said...

you're all nuts.

Jason said...

[2:00 PM]clack: me
[2:00 PM]clack: great
[2:01 PM]mitzzee: uhoh
[2:02 PM]mitzzee: kidney stones are like giving birth when u pass them dear. that sucks.
[2:02 PM]clack: i don't have sharp pain, just deep aching pain on both my sides
[2:02 PM]clack: you must have infected my piss
[2:03 PM]mitzzee: nice
[2:05 PM]clack: i can't wait until the dr. asks me if i had any sexual contact just prior to this infection
[2:05 PM]clack: "that's a joke right"
[2:07 PM]mitzzee: well u know....u cud have touched something dirty with your own hand then touched yourself.
[2:09 PM]clack: why would i touch myself? for what reason?
[2:10 PM]clack: should i tell *censored* to stop sucking my cock when i'm asleep with her dirty mouth?
[2:20 PM]clack: i want to tell my doctor, "i think my fucking piss is infected brainiac"
[2:20 PM]mitzzee: and you can't get std's from toilet seats clack
[2:21 PM]clack: no well clearly with my herpes/syphillis face and now this, i must secretly be fucking around
[2:21 PM]clack: eating dirty piss
[2:23 PM]mitzzee: yes, well it doesn't help getting wasted and not remembering who you've sucked off the night before and let come in your mouth and where you stick your dick.
[2:24 PM]clack: nice talk
[2:24 PM]clack: you're a dick
[2:47 PM]mitzzee: omg
[2:47 PM]mitzzee: i just saw this now
[2:47 PM]mitzzee: that's so sweet
[2:47 PM]mitzzee: jerkoff
[2:47 PM]mitzzee: go hang out at flys literally
[2:47 PM]mitzzee: with your piss infected dick
[2:47 PM]mitzzee: and herpes mouth
[2:47 PM]mitzzee: that's sexy
[2:47 PM]mitzzee: you're sure to pick up
[2:48 PM]clack: can i piss in your pussy?
[2:48 PM]mitzzee: gross
[2:48 PM]clack: my kidneys want to be friends with your kidneys
[2:50 PM]mitzzee: my yeast and period want to be friends too, come over and have a nice visit
[2:50 PM]clack: oh good
[2:50 PM]clack: mine is scared of blood and yeast, he's hiding now
[2:51 PM]mitzzee: i thought so

Carrie said...

jason is a MONSTER