sorry, William

There are a lot of things I'm sorry about, William. I mean, besides the obvious. I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat. I'm sure you would have done more with your life than I've done in my 36 years on the planet.

Mostly, I'm sorry for keeping a distance. There are lots of complicated reasons behind that, filed under the heading of "family laundry." Maybe I made a big mistake. Was it enough to remember your birthday, and give you Christmas presents? I only live an hour away. I've been hanging on to a second-hand Spiderman action figure to give to you. But I didn't know if you were too old for it.

As a result of keeping that distance, the balance of what I know about you was learned after your departure. I feel really guilty about not making a better effort to know such a great kid. I'm sorry.

__________________________


To the cloggers: thanks for the kind words and messages. I know I wasn't exactly Mr. Sunshine before all of this happened, so I want to state for the record that I am O.K. Fortuitously, my shrink called to check up on me this week, so I'll be meeting with him shortly.

I'll be back around in a few days.

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