Monday, October 23, 2006

he doesn't look a thing like Jesus

My last two posts were about love and romance. Here's why:

I met someone at the beginning of October. After what I thought was a good first date on the 6th, we made plans for a second date. We talked on the phone, and decided to go for Sunday brunch on the 15th. I called the day before to firm up the plans; he didn't answer. (No, it wasn't a case of me always calling him.)

Sunday came and went. He never called back, or e-mailed. (He still hasn't.)

Boo hoo; big deal. This crap happens to everyone. Be a man; suck it up and move on. You slept with him on the first date. He's seven years younger. You met on a gay hook-up site. You hooked up, and you drove him home the next afternoon. What more were you expecting?

Here's what I was expecting:
  • to have my call returned
  • to go out for a nice brunch, as planned
  • that someone who exhibited prior behaviour that can best be described as "into me" wouldn't suddenly give me the brush-off
So, unless he lost my number, dropped his cell phone into Lake Ontario, and had his computer blow up, he knows how to get in touch. I might not ever find out what happened.

Next time, I should set my expectation level to zero and try not to get ahead of myself. But the problem is, with each schlep through the barnyard of dating, I get more and more shit on myself--and it takes longer for me to clean it off and venture out again. Case in point: in the last year, I have been on two dates.

Meanwhile, the smokin' Brandon Flowers is singin' on the radio:
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now
Here he comes
The Killers, "When You Were Young"


At one point during our date, the beautiful boy asked: "why are you still single?"

That is the most loaded of loaded questions. I've been asked it before, so luckily, I had my boilerplate response ready: "Since my relationship with S ended, I've just been 'striking out' a lot." How the hell are you supposed to answer that question? Please discuss.

33 comments:

your judgemental aunt said...

you should have said "the same reason as you I guess"

madamerouge said...

That's a bit harsh, don't you think? (Believe me, I've wanted to use that retort in the past.)

There's so much I don't know about his situation. For example, he could be involved with someone else. It's a rather crucial piece of information that I forgot to get.

The Persian said...

I made a post JUST like this not too long ago. It seems lately all Ive encountered are guys who want to have sex *only* or who never call back. Throw in a couple lying freaks from gay.com and manhunt who think age and waist size aren't things you need to be honest about in online profiles, and it's a mess.

If I was closer buddy I would ask you out. You would probably say no, but hey it would make you feel better. And oh yea, I would call you incessently.

*hugs*

Kunstemæcker said...

Yeah dude, suck it up. I spent the last three years a single man. No dates (well, no good dates). I was almost a virgin again. That's a bit worse me thinks.

tornwordo said...

I don't know what the answer to that is. Maybe, "you go first" to the inquirer.

Better luck next time, hugs.

Crucible said...

You're discerning.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Sweetie, I think you're great. It's his loss. I see all the great stuff in you and clearly he was an idiot to not see it too.

I say that because I once settled. It was the worst three months of my life.

I will never settle for anything less than true romance. Neither should you.

Jason said...

Does it help that I've had no dates for 4 yrs?

toobusyliving said...

You may have been on only two "dates" in the past year, but you've "met" quite a few people..no?

toobusyliving said...

Oh, and just wait until you get your fur out of storage for the winter. Can you say "Man magnet?"

rouge gets NOTHING said...

ROTFLMAO

toobusyliving said...

“Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.”

Unknown

Pablo said...

Something very similar just happened to me, madame. I feel ya. I've also been on two dates this past year.

So, I can relate. But, you certainly can't let this one guy dishearten you. He's just one gay...there are other gays.

Heidi the Hick said...

I'm an old fashioned girl so I gotta say: Make him wait!!!

You're worth waiting for, aren't ya? It gives you some time to see if he's worth waiting for.

but don't ask me, I haven't been on a date in like, ever. We country kids didn't really date. Just went on a lot of long car rides to bush parties and stuff. Plus that 15 year marriage thing makes dating difficult, haha!!!!

"He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman."

Make him wait, sweetie. It worked for me.

toobusyliving said...

Here is a picture of Madamerouge phoning his date back.

Timmy said...

Oh Rouge, really it must be his loss. Brunch sounds nice, and well, I dont know what else to say. Hang in there kiddo!

Steven said...

Don't put out right away ("date" or no "date"). You should've played hard to get.

Apparently, he is, and you can't stop thinking about him.

toobusyliving said...

can you say "Easy as Sunday Morning?"

your judgemental aunt said...

it isn't supposed to be a harsh comment. I would use that comment just to find out more about the other person. He could tell you what he is looking for in a relationship, if he's in one, that he is actually super crazy or that whyat he wants is exactly what you want.

natasha said...

'striking out' a lot sounds like you've been on the meat market more that two times.

you could have said, 'i'm still single because it's not so easy to find that one person you completely connect with.' this way you still sound a little hard to get and guys dig that.

oh yeah... and in the future, don't fuck on the first date. he probably thinks you're way too easy.

toobusyliving said...

How many times do I have to tell you that "two bottoms don't make a top!?"

Timmy said...

LOL @ Peter!

madamerouge said...

I know I shouldn't have slept with him! I couldn't help it. My underwear accidentally came off.

car@ said...

Madame: i was about 2 years with no dates [yes, that means no sex!] I mean...if we are all honest, we have periods of times in which we are just like nuns. In my case, after a painfull broken relationship, one day i just woke up saying: NOW...is gonna be all about me...i am gonna be a totally femme fatal. Is all about periods of times...

Traditional Kind of Guy said...

The sooner you face the fact that you're going to die alone, the better.

liquid said...

He doesn't sound like the kind of guy you want to waste time with anyway. Directness and clarity are good qualities to look for in a date (unless it's just a booty call.)

JD said...

You should be more a man. If you like someone be more direct about it. If they do a runner - fine. At least it's one asshole out of the way. See it as jiob hunting. Does failure at one interview stop you from trying again?

Salem said...

OH NO, JD! If job hunting was this hard, I'd be on welfare.

your judgemental aunt said...

Salem said hard...Tehehe!

BTW I don't think sleeping with someone on the first date is a big deal or are you talking full on serving it up on the first date because I may not recommend that. Regardless of what you did, your "friend" did it with you so he can't think it's such a big deal unless he’s a hypocrite.

But you should prolly stop following him and calling his mom.

Butchieboy said...

Peter after his third wine cooler.

teh l4m3 said...

I would just sit at home and whack off to 8X10 glossies of Brandon Flowers's pretty mug...

Dead Robot said...

Look at him with a Clint Eastwood dead eye squint and slowly, oh so slowly say:

"I am actively reworking my acceptance demographics paradigm while effectively repositioning my archetypal design for synergistic representation."

Take a swig of your drink, slam it down and ask "What's your major malfucktion, dickmeat?"

When did dating become such a job interview?

Jane said...

But you always win... hugs