Friday, March 13, 2009

never trust a paper placemat

I could never remember my Chinese Zodiac sign. A couple of years ago — while engaging in emotional eating at Mandarin ("Gung Hay Fat Choy!") — I looked up my birth year (1970) on the paper placemat. "Neat!" I thought. "Year of the Dog... I like dogs!" I took the placemat home, clipped out my sign, and put it on my bulletin board.

This morning, my friend Penelope sent me a link to a "birthday calculator" website. Just for shits & giggles, I plugged in my d.o.b.

SHOCKER! I'm not Year of the Dog after all... I'm Year of the Rooster! 20 minutes of Internet research confirms that I am, indeed, a cock. I was born in early 1970 — before the switch from Rooster to Dog.

I now have to re-evaluate my entire life. All of those failed relationships with Snakes and Dragons? Bah! Folly. That cool, Aquarian distance I'm sometimes guilty of exhibiting? Replace that Dog trait with the eccentric, loner-ish tendencies of the Rooster.

Year: Feb 17 1969 – Feb 05 1970
Associated Element: Yin Earth
Heavenly Stem: 己
Earthly Branch: 酉
Associated Animal: Rooster

Uh-oh... flashback! Something tells me that I conveniently "forgot" I was a rooster... As a redhead, I think I went into denial: "I can't be a Rooster! That's just way too much red!"


Dead Robot said...

Lucky. I'm a fucking snake. Sheesh.

I'll stick to the pagan dial, thank you. Take that you godless Chinese calling me a low level reptile.

Jack said...

Your earth branch looks like underwear on a hanger.

RodTO said...

I'm of the bovine persuasion... People say buffalo, ox, but a cow works for me

Jason said...

After tonight, I MUST be the year of the pig.

Tom Gaylord said...

I'm a Ram.......... being likened to a heifer makes me very unhappy indeed:(

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Famous last words: I read it on a restaurant placement.

And how come EoTS is not on your blogs you follow?!!!

Snooze said...

I'm sulking. You're younger than me.

hellakellz said...

i love cocks, but then again, i am a pig!

sirbarrett said...

Hey! I'm rooster too (1981)! I used to have a friend who was a redhead who always got called "roostercock".